Hidden in the Sun

Chapter 4

Above is Ella 

As I stared at my suitcase, I found it actually surprising and downright sad that everything I had to my name fit in one suitcase. After the accident I couldn't bring myself to go back home; to walk into a place that now holds nothing but memories. I didn't want those memories to be tainted with that night, I just wasn't ready yet.

The only sound that could be heard in my room was the tick tock of the little clock on the wall behind me. After a while I learned to tune it out. Actually... It wasn't ticking at the moment. I turned to look at it, the little arms shaking as if trying to move, but stuck.

A sudden chill raced it's way slowly over my skin bringing me back to that late afternoon; the night my life changed. It was a tingling, the kind you get when it's just too cold to feel it anymore. It settled over my skin like sour milk, Then I heard it.

"Evelyn." A hideous whisper sent my heart racing. Before I could even process whether to scream or run the feeling was gone and the ticking filled my room once more.

"You okay?" Ella said softly bringing me back to reality. I flinched and glanced up at her in the doorway. Did she see that? Better yet, did she hear that?

"Look, I'll visit you every weekend, and whenever you're free..." She trailed walking over kneeling beside me and placing her hand on my shoulder. She thought I was scared of going... Could I confide in her? The last time I mentioned anything she freaked and had my aunt and uncle put me in therapy for a month.

"I'm just... How can I possible do this?" I paused searching her face desperately for answers, I really really wanted to confide in her. "Ella, I'm scared to death and the dreams-"

"Whoa, whoa..." She stopped me suddenly. Sigh. "You're still having the dreams?! Evelyn you told me they were over you promised!" I didn't mean to let that slip. I didn't technically lie. The dreams had stopped bothering me so much... They were just starting to become real. No big deal.

Right?

"No, they have!" I rushed choking down the higher pitch my voice naturally tried to take with the lie. "I just... You're the confident one." I said quickly changing subjects. "Your the outgoing, take charge one..."

"So are you, where do you think I learned it from?" She said with a halfhearted laugh.

"Not anymore. I mean I can hardly stand the sight of my own shadow... There is no way I can be who my father wants me to be." I said playing with the little star necklace my parents had given me for my birthday last year. They told me it was because I was born to shine, and maybe that was true, but then they died and took that light with them.

"Evelyn, look at me." Ella said with a different kind of earnestness in her voice. "Do you have any idea how proud your parents are of you? I bet even now they are looking down on you and thinking 'how did we get so lucky?'" I scoffed shaking my head. I didn't have to fake the feeling surfacing inside of me.

"Lucky? Ha! I'm pathetic, and don't act like you haven't thought it. I've seen the glances you give me. It's been 10 months and I can hardly drag myself out of bed everyday let alone go outside. If it weren't for you, I probably would have offed myself a long time ago. You guys probably should have just let me go to the Blood Pool. I'm weak Ella... I always have been. It just took them dying for me to realize it."

"Don't you dare ever say that again. Do you hear me? You are one of the strongest people I have ever met, and I do NOT say that out of pity." She said yanking my face so that I had no choice but to look at her. "Great people do things before they're ready. They do things before they know they can do it. Doing what you're afraid of, getting out of your comfort zone, taking risks like that- that is what life is." She said and I frowned.

"What if I screw everything up? All that my parents have worked for?" I said desperately.

"What if you don't?" She said and sat back with a small smile. "You might be good. You might be really good. You might find out something about yourself that's really special and if you're not good, who cares? You tried something. Now you know something about yourself." She finished softly. She had a point, she was always good like that, but her words didn't just magically make me feel better.

"I don't even know where to start." I said just above a whisper. One stupid little tear sipping from my eyes. She reached up and brushed it away.

"You already have." She said softly and then smiled. "The moment you decided to get back up and go to that academy was the moment you honored your parents love for you. I can promise you they would be so incredibly proud. I couldn't have done that, but you did." She finished and stood up pulling me with her. "Now come on Eve, you got some snobby a$$es to kick." She grabbed the handle of my suitcase and began strutting out singing We Will Rock You by Queen causing a small smile to coat my lips.

What would I do without her?

With a sigh I gave one last glance around my room. If there was one thing I did realize from her little speech it was that there would be no going back. Either I give it all I have, or let it be the end of me. I couldn't ride the middle line anymore. It was up to me.

Sink or swim.

I shut the door feeling far too sentimental; it felt like it really was the last time I was ever going to see this place. There was something sad about it all, but I guess that's life.