One Night With Zayn & Nine Months With His Baby

Chapter Thirty Six: Be There

Four weeks had already passed since the first dog incident. Another happened the night before, similar to the first. This time, though, felt much more disturbing than the last. The body parts for this animal were cut off and set aside in a pile near his body.
I didn't see the poor creature because I knew that I couldn't have been able to handle it. I took the boy's' word for it. It was disturbing. It escalated. But because of security, the person culpable for having done it wasn't able to get near the front door. The dog was left beyond the gates.
This time, the police was notified. Once was just enough. The second time made everything much more frightening. And though the police didn't make me feel any more safe than I already did, I knew it made Zayn feel better. So I pretended that I felt okay and that it didn't affect me as much as it did.
Nathan was growing fast, though he was only about two months and a few days old. My body wasn't quite going back to normal. I had gained little weight, but I wasn't able to put it off yet. My body was still out of whack, just like when I was pregnant. My feet felt swollen, my body tender all around. I had headaches constantly and felt nauseous every once and a while.
One night when the boys and I were having a movie night, I had to run to the bathroom to vomit. I didn't tell them the truth, though. I knew that they would have worried, although I was almost sure it was normal to have these side effects after birth.
Zayn and I did continue to sleep together. Neither of us had lost that spark. We wanted, needed each other, as much as we did before Nathan was born. It was good that I had that time with him. It was a struggle to keep ourselves under control, though. Also, Zayn was utterly terrified of hurting me. He thought that the slightest little wrong touch would trigger something in me.
Louis walked into mine and Zayn's room early on a Wednesday morning, his hair ruffled and his eyes squinting. Zayn had gone out with Niall to give in an official police report of the crimes that took place around us.
"Good morning," I said to him, laughing internally at his appearance. He looked pretty cute, and funny. Louis was a sight for sore eyes, though, even straight out of bed.
Louis sat quietly on the bed and looked down at Nathan, kicking while laying on the bed. He surprised me as he hugged me to him tight.
I ran my fingers through his hair, partly because his hair was always soft, and also because I wanted to style it better. "How are you?" I asked him.
I knew that Louis worried a lot about the dogs and the not-so-subtle threats plenty. It wasn't the first time he told me about it. I shared his worries. He didn't want the rest of the guys to know he felt afraid, though. Just like me.
He sighed. "I miss hugging you while you were pregnant. It feels different now."
I laughed quietly. "Well you're going to have to miss it for a while. I don't think Zayn even wants to think about having another baby."
He looked up at me through his long eyelashes. "Why do you say that?"
"Because he's so scared of, like, killing me by accident. He thinks I'm made of porcelain or something. He hardly touches me, you know?"
His eyebrows pulled together and his eyes trained on Nathan. "You guys don't... You know?"
I pressed my cheek to the top of his head. "We do but it's not the same. He's so careful and slow. Not his style. It doesn't feel like he enjoys it as much as he should. So I don't. Plus, I'm pretty sure he's scared I'll die having another baby."
"I don't think you'd die. You'd maybe fall into a coma, though," he said.
It took me a little to realize he was joking. And then I smiled. It didn't take long for my smile to fade. He was trying to distract me. "What's really bothering you?"
"I want to have another baby," he tells me, half laughing.
I smile. "Louis, really. Tell me."
He sighed and sat up. Taking my hand in his he spoke. "It's the same thing, Riley. I'm scared. I don't know what's going on. It doesn't make any sense for anybody to leave these... sacrifices for no reason. Somebody's mad and I don't know why. If they're violent enough as to do the things they have, imagine what they're capable of doing."
I bit my lip, something a started doing just recently. I didn't know why I picked up the habit. "I understand. I don't feel safe, either. And I don't trust the officials to get anything done but I don't want to worry anymore. It's so time-consuming to worry. You shouldn't either."
I knew that I was lying. That I hadn't stopped and wouldn't stop worrying. But his mind was constantly on the subject and it wasn't healthy for him. What once was an always happy person became a person who's always afraid.
He nodded. I knew that was the end of that conversation. "I really would like another baby, though. I liked taking care of you."
I hugged him to me. "Tell Zayn."
"I will. I'll take care of you regardless, you know?"
"I know."
"I will, Riley."
I relaxed in his arms. "I know."

Zayn and Niall came home about an hour later. Louis had fallen fast asleep on my side of the bed. I had placed Nathan in his crib. He'd fallen asleep a little bit before Louis had.
When Zayn walked in, I placed my finger to my lips as I guided him back out. I closed the door slowly behind me. "Hi."
Zayn drew me closer. "Hi."
"How'd it go at the police station?" I asked, wrapping my arms around his waist.
Zayn leaned down to kiss me, his lips brushing gently against mine. When he pulled apart, he spoke. "Alright. They just took our statements and the photos we brought. They were grateful. Clearly have nothing to jump on. They don't have any evidence, of course."
I nodded once and kissed him again. "Thank you for going over. I am forever grateful."
"The police weren't this grateful. I think I prefer making you feel this way," he said, that extremely sexy smile that I knew so well playing on his lips. I'd seen this smile several times since I met him and it never stopped affecting the stableness of my knees.
"I'd sure hope so," I smiled back instinctively, running my hands up and down his back, hoping to send back the same tingly feelings he was giving me.
I knew that I had achieved my goal when I heard a low growl as he kissed me, hungrier this time.
I pulled away from him, breathless and powerless. I knew that Louis was in our room. There wasn't ainything we would be able to do. The rest of this would have to wait until nighttime.
"We can't," I told Zayn.
He kissed me on the cheek. "I know. But it's nice to pretend we can sometimes."
"Later," I promised him. "You. Me. Ten tonight. Under the sheets. Be there."
He laughed with me. "Now, who could put off an offer like that?"
"Not you."
"Definitely not me," he said, and kissed me once more.