BTS imagines

J-hope - Someone Like You

Warning: Sad concept

I heard that you're settled down. That you found a boy and you're married now.

But I still remember the old days. Then we used to run in the rain and then suddenly stop in the middle of some puddle and splash the dirty water around. It would get on our clouds and we would come back home all covered in dirt. We would get all wet from the rain water. We would ruin our hair. Your make-up would be running down your face and that's why I always told you that you looked beautiful without all of the covers up on your face. Even without mascara, lipstick, foundation, you were the perfect girl for me. But I guess it wasn't enough.

I heard that your dreams came true. Guess he gave you things I didn't give to you.

The memory of those love letters I would leave you every birthday will probably haunt me forever. The thought of all the confessions I made to you will probably never leave me alone and come after me every time I close my eyes. I trusted you more than anyone in my life, I trusted you more than myself.

Old friend, why are you so shy? Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

Now, then I look into your cold eyes... they don't have the same spark I got used to seeing when we were together. Then I look at your face... it isn't the same smile you used to flash when I wrapped my arms around your waist from behind. Even your giggle changed. It not as fascinating. But did your heart changed? Did the love I felt coming from your heart once disappeared and now you're not the one I knew before?

I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited. But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it. I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over.

The day I came back to get my things and I noticed you in his embrace my heart almost exploded. I used to hold you the same way. I used to hug you just like that, and at the same time differently, it will never be the same. Will it? I don't know, but maybe you can tell me. As much as I wanted to just run up to the guy and punch him right away, as much as I wanted to drag you away and keep you with me forever, I never did it. I resisted the urge. I overcame myself for you. Because I knew that more than anything in this world I wanted for you to be happy and if he made you happy and I didn't... I hated myself for not fighting against him for your affection... It wasn't over for me... but I couldn't change your mind. All I could do was to wish you happiness and love.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you, too.

Remember then we ran out that coffee shop and it was snowing so hard we barely could see the road? I gave you my jacket to put on your head so the snow wouldn't ruin your new haircut that you just got. But you gave it back immediately saying that you don't want me to get sick either. You cared about me just as much as I cared about you. Maybe that was the reason I never really got over it. But you did... does that mean I was wrong? You didn't feel the same way?

Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said, sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.

I got on one knee and glared at the ground. In was too embarrassed to look up at you so I just held my hands forwards without glaring. I heard you sob and that encouraged me to lift my gaze. Oh how much I regretted that decision later. You were blushing, now, you were all red. Your eyes were puffy, no, they were swollen from tears. You looked happy. No. I looked happy. You didn't.

Remember how you rejected me? How my heart stopped beating and I was unable to breath anymore. How I glanced at you in disbelief but you repeated the same No coldly like it was nothing. Maybe it was. Maybe I was no one to you. But please, I beg you, tell me one thing. If I was no one... why did you had to wait such a long time? Why didn't you leave in the first place? Why did you let me make a fool out of myself?

Maybe I have an answer to that question. Because you never loved me. Only people with true feelings will do anything to protect others. But you never even tried. You rejected me with one words and left. Or maybe I left you? Maybe my soul left my body... because from that point on, I never remembered living, I just existed.

Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.

This time it hurt. It left unhealed scars. It opened wounds. It made me feel like I was no one. It broke me. And you know, who was responsible for that?!Me... It wasn't you. I should never blame you, and even if I could... I never would. Because as I said, when you love someone you will protect them from anything and anyone. I am the one responsible for my pain, if I had noticed sooner, if my love haven't blinded me, maybe I would have never felt how my heart shattered. Maybe I would still smile just like back in the old days.

I folded the latter and looked at it for couple of second. Then slowly kissed it with all of my love put in to that one and only last kiss. My eyes weren't teary. My heart was calm. My mind had already been made up. It was clear and okay. I met the fate just like a man.

But no, it was definitely not a decision mad would have made. If I was truly strong I would have never done what I was about to do. But I wasn't going to hold my head up anymore. So I just put down the latter on the chair and kicked it letting the rope tighten around my neck.

I might have put a hoop around myself, but it didn't hurt, it was an easy goodbye. Not like the one you made me go through. But I will never blame you for it. I love you and I always will. Please remember me, I beg.

theBabelle