Reveries and Musings

2

This is a piece of work I wrote as a dedication for a friend who was my support during a rough patch in life, and still is a great support and listener. Thank you for being there, always.

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"Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .""

― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Sometimes, there comes a person in your life who brings about changes with him. These changes could be in your habits, the way you talk, or your body language. But sometimes, that someone changes you in bigger, more impactful ways. He changes the way you think, the way you view life, the way you view yourself or your outlook towards the world. These new ways of your thinking, your improved attitude, can make you or break you.

Maybe, that's why, if someone asks me to define myself, I'd say that there is no definition to me. For, to define myself, would be to exclude any and every chance and opportunity for change. And change is what keeps us going, moving ahead with time.

People influence you in subtle ways or in profound ones. You'd never know that you've changed till someone points it out to you. But it's our choice too, you know. Our choice to allow someone to change us or not, to embrace the change or resist it.

People can be a part of the majority of our life, yet they can manage not to change us.

And then there are some people who breeze through your life, and yet, they change you. Tremendously. Maybe it's because they've been in your life during that point when no one but them understood you, believed in you.

Have you ever noticed that it's easier to talk to strangers than to talk to people you've known all your life?

Strangers wouldn't judge you. Your long time friends would know how and when to comfort you, or maybe leave you alone when you're in one of your moods, owing to their experience. Or maybe, they couldn't be bothered enough to deal with your anger management issues or your depression. And maybe, that's exactly what you don't want. You don't want to be left alone to get over your irritation or anger. You want someone to remember you, be there for you, to sit with you through the hard times. You want to be able to rant to someone freely, let out all your bottled up emotions, troubles and dilemmas. You want someone to listen to you without judgements and criticisms.

There's a certain charm, a strange familiarity in even the unfamiliar.

It's very difficult to find a true friend. 'Besties' and 'baes' are easy to find, difficult to keep. They come and they go, but they don't stay. And if you're looking for a true best friend, remember, he's the one who's been with you during your bad times, celebrated with you during the good ones. He wouldn't be jealous of you if you were to achieve something and he wouldn't abandon you if you weren't successful enough in life. But it doesn't mean that he must be in your life for ages.

If you have a connection, a strange unfathomable understanding, you don't need to spend lots of time with each other. Short periods of time and long lists of shared secrets are what will end up connecting you.

I believe that friendship is all about listening to your heart, not your mind. If spending time with a certain someone gives you a good, satisfied feeling, do it. Trust your instincts, your gut feeling. More often than not, it leads you down the right path. Don't over think your actions. You'll end up seeing very little of life if you do.

Against my better judgement, I made a new friend. Being an introvert just makes it more difficult to open up enough to allow new people to enter your life. I've always listened to my mind because I've been too much of a wimp to take the risk of allowing my heart to influence my decisions. Since I've been gathering the courage to take risks, owing to the fact that life is too short, the first thing I decided to do was to listen to my heart. My mind said it wasn't wise to make new friends. It would distract me, is what it said. It would keep me from my responsibilities and obligations. But, oh, how my heart yearned for a new friend! The excitement, the anticipation, the curiosity you satiate when you get to know a stranger, learn about him, his likes, dislikes, weaknesses and strengths, is worth the risk of opening your heart, wearing it on your sleeve.

My experiences told me, warned me, advised me that the risk was too big, not important enough to be worth it.

But I wanted to do something new, wanted something more. I wanted to live a little. So I let my heart rule my head. And, boy, am I glad I did!

I've found myself a wonderful friend, a confidant. A person who's a horrible advisor yet manages to lift my mood and cheer me up, make me cry and laugh at the same time. He manages to insult me in compliments, and compliment me in insults.

I'd like to thank my stars for this true friend.

Maybe he will leave me, forget me, move on. Maybe he'll betray me, hurt me.

Maybe, these flames of friendship will burn me.

But, this time. This time, I know that I will rise out of the ashes.

For, in those ashes, I know I'll find a glimpse of the person who taught me that in order to live, you need to have the courage to bear the hurt, face your fears.

For it is these wounds, these scars, that carve you to be the person you are today.