Reveries and Musings

4

"It was hard to lose you. But it was harder when I lost myself because of you."

- Quotes I come up with at 2 a.m. when I've got only me to comfort myself.

What do you think it means to love? How would you define it, were you asked to?

I wonder, often, at the double standards of this world. On one hand, they teach us that if we love someone truly, we should set them free. If they're meant to be, they'll come back to us.

On the other hand, they teach us to fight for what's ours, to keep what we deserve, to not give up without a fight, without trying.

But isn't letting go, in a way, giving up? Aren't you giving up hope of being together? Aren't you letting go of that which you love because you know that there isn't any hope that you will be loved back?

So, what should you do? What is the right thing to do? And who even decides what is right and what isn't? Why is it that in love, something so right still feels so wrong? Or something so wrong, feels so right, yet so out of reach?

How important is the happiness of others as compared to yours? Don't you deserve inner peace, satisfaction, happiness too?

How do you think love changes one's life?

Do you think that two people in love change for the better or for the worse?

Are two people in love one soul, one entity? United, just like Catherine believed. "I am Heathcliff!" she had said. How right was she, or how wrong? Who judges that?

Do you think that giving up your individuality in love is the way it should be?

I feel that retaining your uniqueness, and at the same time having a person in your life with whom you can share your happiness, your difficulties and stand by each other through all the hardships, is what it truly means to love.

They say opposites attract. But have you ever thought that if people are too opposite from each other, they'll end up disagreeing more often than agreeing? Their individual and opposite opinions will clash and they'll never learn how to agree to disagree.

It is difficult to maintain a relationship. It takes effort on the part of both the partners. A one-sided effort won't get you very far. And, when maintaining the relationship becomes exhausting, becomes a burden, remember, it won't last long. Before long, one of you is bound to break and then, there won't be any hope of reconcilement.

Divorce is looked down upon in many societies. But I don't think there's anything wrong with it. In fact, divorces, annulments are a blessing to those stuck in loveless marriages. People think that divorce always brings with it bitterness and breaks our trust in love and marriage. They think that no one can be happy after a divorce, even if it is a mutual understanding between two partners.

Sometimes, I think people are not willing to look beyond what is already known, what they've believed in for years, for they're afraid of change. They're afraid to step into the unknown, without any kind of 'instruction manual'.

And who says divorce isn't advisable, isn't wise? One should try to save their marriage, yes. But what do you do when your marriage has reached a point which is beyond salvation? Are you willing to waste the rest of your life trying to save a hopeless marriage, or would you prefer moving on, starting afresh, with a resolve strengthened by the lessons you've learned? Would you want to give up on your freedom, within arm's reach, something so close, yet so far?

Moving on, forgetting your past, sometimes backfires.

Your past has made you the person you are today, whether it's a dark one or not. How willing are you to forget the one thing that shaped you, that changed you?

You resent your past, hate it, fear it. But why the fear? You've already borne it, lived through it. So why the irrational, unfathomable resentment, apprehension for what is to come?

Life will knock you down, but you have to make sure to not allow it to keep you down.

Don't allow your past, your desires, love to overpower you.

Don't let love rule your life or bring you down.

Don't give it so much power that it becomes the cause of your downfall.

Don't let it affect you so much that you stop living your life and change for the worse.

How much are you willing to give up for love? Enough that it kills your soul, kills the life in you?

What do you really want? A so-called true love and a lifeless soul? Or a chance to start afresh, redeem yourself, rediscover the true you? The 'you' that you lost when you loved someone else too much, forgetting how important you were, in the process?

Mark Twain rightly said, "Never allow someone to become your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."

I'd rather be alone with dignity, than in a relationship that requires me to sacrifice my self-respect, my individuality, my own, true self!

What is it that you want? You, and only you, know the answer to that.

Remember. Mind over matter. Always.