Reveries and Musings

7

"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

--- A.A. Milne

Have you ever been the pillar of strength for someone? The one people always lean on, always count on, to support them.

The one who's been strong for so long that the idea of weakness, the very concept of being vulnerable to something seems foreign.

Have you ever experienced being the bigger person always? The one who sacrifices, compromises, moulds herself according to the likes and dislikes of people she loves, so that their comfort isn't affected?

Have you ever wondered what a confidant feels, what their emotions are? They're forever storing secrets deep in their heart, carrying the burden of responsibly keeping them safe. But what about their secrets? Ever wondered who they share it with?

A person can give, and give so much to people he loves, but there's only so much he can give to others and give up for them.

There comes a time when you've given so much that there's nothing left to give and you're left with an empty feeling in your heart and a blanket of loneliness trying to smother you.

Wouldn't things have been different if you'd given and taken? Maintained a balance? At least, it wouldn't have led you to lose yourself completely, right?

How long can you be strong? How long can you ignore your own problems in your quest to solve those of others?

Don't you have the right to simply let go, relax, take a breather, live for yourself, for once? Don't you have the right to chase your dreams too? To make mistakes, learn from them, gather experience, go out into the world, explore and fulfil your desires?

How long can you keep up this mask of optimism? How long can you constantly cover up your fears, your pain?

It isn't like you don't have fears, you don't feel pain. As a matter of fact, for you, it's ten times worse.

To silently bear the pain, hide it behind a smile, is the most difficult thing anybody can do.

How long are you going to strain a smile, will it to reach your eyes, even as you cry yourself to sleep every night, silent sobs wracking your body.

There's a limit to everything. There's only so much pain you can bear, only so much of a smile you can strain. And when that limit's been crossed, you snap. You break down, fall apart. And there's nothing and no one to stop you.

Just like there's nothing and no one by your side as you crumble down.

The wall you'd built around your heart, to protect it, is broken, all at once. The emotions you'd managed to keep at bay, crash over you, leaving you bewildered, as you struggle to breathe, to live, even as these emotions keep pulling you under.

And that is why you learn to swim. Swim through these swirling emotions, trying to make head or tail of these changes taking place around you, trying o break free.

You're alone in this battle, though. People will sympathise, yes. But there'll be very few who'll empathise. You'll have to fight your demons, ward off the evil threatening your very existence.

You'll have to pull together all the broken pieces of you, make yourself whole again. And you'll have to do it on your own.

Nobody can do that for you, nobody. Not the person you love the most, or the person who means the most to you.

Only you know your heart, and yourself.

And remember, it's okay to have weaknesses. But what isn't okay is allowing people, or even yourself, to use those weaknesses against you.

Make your weaknesses your strength. Even if you can't, love your weaknesses as much as you love your strengths. They won't be much of weaknesses if you love them wholeheartedly, accept them completely.

Sometimes, being too strong can become a weakness. Sometimes, people can use this against you. Why be a pillar that can be broken with one blow of the hammer?

If you want to be strong, need to be, for the people you love, be the base, the very foundation. Nothing, no blow, no disaster, no calamity can break it. It always, always stays put. Not many people understand its importance, but without it, nothing can survive, nothing can stand.

Don't be the colour that blends into the background, that nobody notices or values.

Be the colour that stands out, stands tall, even among a hundred others.

Be strong because you want to. Be weak if that's what you want. But don't be something that you don't want to be, or that isn't you.

Be the real you, and before anyone else falls for you, you'll end up falling for yourself.

Do things. Go for it. Whether good or bad, it'll be an experience you'll cherish when you're too old, too crippled to do anything but reminisce.

Love life the way it is. It could have been so much worse, or so much better. But it wouldn't have been something that you love.

Because no matter how your life is, remember, it's what you've built yourself, with all your hard work and choices you made.

Love life, quietly, loudly, however you want. But love it, and you'll be the happiest person on earth, in your own unique way.

Love life with all of you. Love life till it consumes you.

It'll be worth it. I promise.