The sadness that I live in

The pain inside

"Everyone thinks I'm as tough as stone. Even though I broke, long ago."

A lot of people in the world are depressed. I was once to. I am still fighting depression to this day, cause depression doesn't just go away like (*snap) that. But when I was depressed, I wrote this very poem about my experience. I hope these words will touch you the same way they've touched me.

The pain inside

Every day
I feel shame

My bracelets hide
My scars outside

While my smile
Hides the ones inside

I don't tell anyone
They don't need to know

Though I yearn for someone
To see what I have in tow

Regret, sorrow,
My blade for tomorrow

I try hard
Every day

When people say
To die the next day

I am useless
And misunderstood

No one can love me,
Actually, no one ever would

I try my best
Every day

Though I know,
I'll never have fame

I hide my feelings,
And don't let them show.

People ask how I'm doing.
I tell them I'm fine, though they'll never know.

They'll never know
The darkness inside.

That's full of sorrow,
And that I forever cry

Every one thinks
I'm as tough as stone.

Even though I broke,
Long ago.

People will see
Glimpses of my scars

They seem small,
Compared to my scars on the inside.

No one knows,
How I cry myself to sleep.

No one knows,
How much I really weep.

No one understands,
The way I am inside.

No one understands,
The person I truly am.

People say,
I totally get it.

But you don't know,
How I get it.

You don't know,
How I hide,

All the scars and
Pain on the inside.

You don't know,
What my wrists are saying.

You don't know,
How my heart is pleading.

I've been forgotten,
Too many times.

I've been lost,
For all my life.

I drop little hints,
And will try to let you know.

Though you don't understand,
What I'm trying to say.

I am lonely, and desperate,
And hopeless inside.

When on the outside,
I have happiness to share.

I may not be perfect,
I may not be great.

I know that I'm
Just one big mistake.

But I also know,
That deep inside.

There is a flame
That will never die.

It may be
Almost distinguished.

But just like me,
He won't die.

For its a fighter,
And it's always helped me.

To hide the pain,
I feel inside.

Everyday I got to school,
With a heavy sigh.

Reminding myself,
How to hide how I feel inside.

Knowing to keep my jacket on,
Especially when my friends are around.

My teacher will ask me,
"Why are you failing your grades?"

And I'll lie and say,
I guess I just fell behind.

When deep inside,
I feel like a disgrace.

She says its unacceptable,
For me to keep my grades this way.

I tell her that I'll try my best,
When I really just need a rest.

I always have a smile on my face,
But if you look in my eyes.

You will see the sadness resurface,
And you will realize,

How all this while,
You never knew how I felt inside.

But of course no ones knows,
How to look deep enough in my eyes.

Only one or two people know,
For they are going through the same thing.

Of you are listening to me right know,
I hope my words will change your mind.

Yes we all want battle scars,
But we definitely don't want self harm, scars.

I know it's hard to stop and quit,
Trust me, I've been through the same shit.

But you always have to fight and try,
To get rid of the feelings you hide inside.

Try to let your family know,
Or at least let some one at school know.

I know it's hard to admit,
Why you put the scars on your wrists.

But soon the people will know,
For a lot of them have done it before.

And if you're not a person who is hurting,
Always remember this.

If your friends are distant
And touchy

And during summers,
They wear hoodies.

Let them or a teacher know,
What you think your friends is going through.

I hope you all have changed your minds,
About how you or others are feeling inside.

You must always tell someone.
I made that mistake once.

So please don't make it to,
For it just gets worse the more you do.

Just make sure you let someone know,
The pain you feel inside.

Don't you dare to try,
To hide your scars with a lie.

I've done that once,
And won't do it twice.

To hide the cuts on my wrists,
My wrist was full of bracelets.

One of them said,
Love Life.

When deep inside,
I wanted to die.

Now I'm different,
I won't give up.

Never again,
Will I cut.

So always remember,
To keep your smile.

But don't smile,
To hide what's inside.

Just remember to let someone know,
The pain you feel inside.