The sadness that I live in

Someone to lean on

Hey, I know my last post was depressing. I used to think that my friend was cutting because of me. Don't ever think that. It's never your fault if someone is cutting or depressed. Unless you're bullying them of course. I just finished reading a fanfic of Pewdiecry, I think it was something called Pewdiecry the lost bromance. But on her last update(I think it's a her, and if it's not I'm sorry! All I know is that your username is, notryanross) it was a note talking to people who know others or are depressed and talking to people who are depressed. I've realized that wattpad usually has a lot of depressed people on here. To me, I consider wattpad a safe haven. A place where somebody can be theirselfs and nobody will judge them because, we're all the same. I have always worried that when somebody posts on here book or something saying some thing like, hey I'm sorry I haven't updated I've just been really depressed, I've always been worried about them because then the book is over. Not permanently, but like, they haven't updated for a while. I don't think anyone deserves to feel that way, no one. Deserves to feel that way. If any of you ever, and I mean EVER, need someone to talk to, message me. I may not respond right away for I don't have Internet, but if I don't message one of my friends like, Impala_driving_angel , AmberKoski , and tell them what I said on here. Or message Maddy_Pines . Tell them that you need to talk to me, and I will find a way to talk to you. None of you are alone, and I certainly don't ever, want any of you to feel like you're alone. Trust me, I've known the feeling, and every know and then, I still do. And if what I post makes you depressed, please stop reading. I don't want to be the source of your pain, nor do I want to make it worse. Always remember that self harm is never the answer. If you have self harmed and are reading this, I do not mean to make you feel bad. I self harmed too, and honestly, from time to time, I still think of doing it! But I haven't for a very long time, and I am very proud. If you have or are self harming and haven't told your parents or guardians, let them know. If they are abusing you, let someone know. I know it's hard to admit why you put those scars on your wrists, but it helps to tell. It hurts, at first. Honestly. My mom found out. I never told her. Me and her and her friend had went out to subway one night, and when we where dropping her friend off, my sleeve slipped and she said, "what happened there?" Then she....she pulled up my sleeve. That was the saddest, hardest car ride home. But, she was sorry. She wasn't mad. She was sorry that she did t notice how sad I was and she was sorry that she didn't help. Now, I'm trying to get a therapist. I've asked my mom and friends about it, and they think I should go. They aren't trying to be mean when they tell me I need help. They mean it in their best way, and I understand. Please, don't ever shut people out. It's hard and it hurts. It doesn't only hurt you, but the ones close to you, friends and family. Death is never the answer. I have thought about it, but please don't ever. Death it terrifying. Death is....unexplainable. Always let someone know how you're feeling and how they can help. Always remember, don't go to drastic measures, baby steps. Step by step. That's how I'm doing it and it's helping. I don't really wear long sleeved stuff anymore. I see people look at my scars. It's hard, always remembering what you did when all you do is look at your wrist. But, they are our battle scars. Not our good ones, they're from the battles we've lost. But always remember. You can always win the war, no matter how many battles you have lost.