Melting Gray [Gratsu]

45

Chapter Forty-Five

☆ Natsu Dragneel ☆

While Grandine went off to mahjong night without a care in the world and Wendy - after giving me a compassionate hug after we got out of the car - returned back to her room for the evening, I wasted away in the shower, standing under the heavy stream of blistering hot water. I barely felt the sting of the water pressure against my skin, and it was probably turning my flesh raw and red, but I wasn't in the proper headspace to sense that pain. I had a different pain, an emotional pain that I was struggling with wrapping my mind around right now.

After about fifteen minutes of standing in the shower and thinking about everything and nothing at the same time, I turned the nozzle off, stepping out. I gazed at my fingertips; they were soft and pruny.

I dressed quickly and sat on the edge of my bed, staring out the window at the beach. The sun was positioned lower in the sky now; we were losing daylight. The sky was now orange, and the tide was slowly moving in. I watched the rise and fall of the sea, allowing it to match my slow breathing, and got lost in the movement of the waves.

Suddenly I remembered where I needed to be and who I was going to go see and pushed myself up into a standing position. Considering Grandine was out for the evening and Wendy knew the situation, I left silently, deciding to drive. I fumbled with the seatbelt, hand shaking so much I kept missing the slot. "Damn it, stop shaking, Natsu," I cursed aloud at my skittishness. I looked at the time again - 7:53 - I could easily still make it walking with a few minutes to spare, considering Grandine's house was adjacent to the boardwalk.

I think I was suffering from major selective attention, because I could only focus on the shadows sliding across the sky. I probably even crossed the street when there was a green light. Whatever, no one was around to run me over.

While walking there, I was completely lost in thought. I was absolutely terrified of what was going to happen, and it made me feel nauseous just thinking about the infinite possibilities. Sighing softly, I passed by the boardwalk and all the surf and ice cream shops, heading straight for the entrance to Magnolia Beach.

It was assumed that we would meet at our usual spot, a sandy dune just a few meters off a cluster of brightly-hued palm trees. I laughed a little bit to myself, finding it sardonically comical that I hadn't visited that spot in a while. How long has it been? I thought with an edge in my thoughts. I can't even remember.

I didn't see Gray there yet, so I trudged up the sandy hill sat on top of the dune, sitting so I was clutching my knees to my chest with my arms tightly wrapped around them. I rested my chin on my knees, watching the ocean. The expanse of blue water stretched out as far I could see and hundreds of miles further. I stared out across the sea, unable to distinguish between the salty blue ocean and the dusky horizon.

I love the ocean, but I also feared the ocean. I understood its beauty, and I understood the dangers it could create. As the setting sun reflected off the rippling water, golden light getting twisted into the glassy waves, I was fascinated. Nothing compared to the ocean; it was infinite.

I was too busy staring out, watching the tide kiss the golden sands, I didn't notice the fact that Gray was approaching the sand dune, hands shoved in his pockets and hunching over ever so slightly. My heart began to rapidly race, like instinct, but instead of the fluttery feeling Gray gave me, I just felt fear. Anger. Guilt.

However, I decided I remained still, waiting for him to approach me instead. When he did, I heard the soft thud of the sand as he plopped down in an arrogant fashion. He said nothing for a moment, so the only sound in the proximity between us was the crashing of the waves as they rolled over the rocky, uneven seaside.