The Gay Gatsby

Chapter 22: Chance Puts the Pain in Painting

Author's Note: Be warned, basically nothing happens in this chapter. I apologize, but I needed to establish some things before progressing with the main conflict.

Chapter 22: Chance Puts the Pain in Painting

"The loneliest moment in someone's life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly."

       - F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

Chance

I could feel my eyes blinking vigorously in an effort to restrain any tears that could fall as I began to scramble down the stairs of . . . Callaway's house.

I was aware that I was being stupid. Truly, I did. I had no right to be angry or sad; the reaction I had received had been expected. But that didn't make it hurt less.

Callaway didn't love me. He never would love me. And that's a fact I had to accept.

The short haired boy I had come to call my friend had simultaneously bettered me in unimaginable manners, but had also destroyed me.

My thoughts resembled the chaos of a war zone as I rushed through the looming shadows of the hallway. Horrifying scenarios were conjured in my head. The terrible scenes played in my mind like a film; a film where the main character never got a happy ending.

I sped to the door, mind absent. I hardly even noticed the small figure that found itself in my vision.

"Are you okay?"

I ignored the question, assuming that it wasn't directed towards me as I continued to attempt to open the door.

"Chance - Are you okay?"

I nearly jumped as the utterance of my name pierced the air. I turned my head in a rush, fearful of where the voice was coming from. Oddly, I was met with a familiar - yet alien - mop of dark ringlets.

Jasper stood in front of me - bag of potato chips in hand and a serious expression on his face.

I cleared my throat, attempting to conceal my distress as I answered his question.  "I'm - I'm fine," I spluttered. "Thanks for asking."

"Sure." Jasper frowned at me with clear doubt.

I gave him a curt nod paired with an artificial smile before turning away. My fingers met the cool smoothness of the door knob as Jasper's voice piped up once again.

"My brother - he can say some pretty stupid things," his voice intoned solemnly. "Don't take it too personally."

I could almost laugh at that. Too personally? I think that my unreciprocated love crossed that boundary a while ago.

I looked back at Jasper for a moment, trying for a smile, before making my way out of the Lawson house and into the pouring rain of the thunderstorm churning outside. I stared out into the black bass of the night sky, knowing that I would have to trek through the damp roads all the way back to my house.

Alone.

At night.

During a thunderstorm.

With a broken heart.

God.

Why did the world hate me?

_____________

My fingers were tingling with chills and my wet hair clung to forehead as I opened the door to my house. I slid my damp jacket off with an unusual clumsiness and speed. I wanted nothing more than to escape to my room and sleep forever, despite the early hour.