The Gay Gatsby

Chapter 34: Life Sucks Dick (or LSD)

Author's Note: Guess who's an ass!

Oh yeah, I'm an ass.

IM REALLY SORRY FOR UPDATING SO LATE. But this chapter was a mess to write and it will probably go under a lot of editing because I'm still not that happy with it.

It's pretty intense.

Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 34: Life Sucks Dick (or LSD)

"So we drove on toward death through the cooling twilight."

        -F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

Chance

I felt my body shivering as I trudged outside with no more than my flimsy cardigan. My lip quivered and my fingers twitched as I grasped for the icy handle of my dad's car, hand clutching to open it.

I paused for a moment, eyes turning back to gaze at the dimmed light emitting from my apartment. I thought of how much warmer it would be if I had just stayed in bed. Though I also thought of bloodshot, dilated green eyes, peering back at me in distant desperation.

I averted my gaze from my home, sliding into the freezing seat of the car. I lifted the keys from my pocket, inserting them into ignition, my hand still infested with tremors. The car started with a stuttered hum, as if it was just as drained as I felt. I put my hands on the steering wheel, body calming.

And I drove off; completely in control of the car, but completely out of control of my heart.

_________

"Hey Chance!" A voice called to me. "I thought you weren't coming."

I looked at Zander, mildly annoyed. "I wasn't."

He peered at me, gaze puzzled. "Well, at least you're here now! Want me to get you anything to drink?" He laughed. "The selection here is pretty shit, but I'm sure I could find you something."

I smiled, feeling bad for the friend that I had completely neglected for the past few weeks. "Nah, but thanks for the offer."

His smile faltered for a moment, before turning into a grin. "No worries, man. Hey - wanna come and scope out the crowd with me? I've only been here for an hour so I haven't been around much. I'm sure we could find something fun to do."

I felt a stabbing in my heart. I had almost forgotten why Zander had been one of my best friends in the first place, but talking to him now made me remember.

"That'd be fun, but I'm actually here for a reason," I explained. "Have you seen Aly?"

He grinned. "Ah yes, Brownie."

I cringed at the nickname.

Zander sniggered. "I saw her not too long ago. And damn she looked pretty pissed - I didn't even bother going near her. I assumed she was on her period or something."

I rolled my eyes and Zander's smile just widened.

"I'm kidding . . . Sort of. But I'm sure you could find her chilling around the party somewhere. Just listen for the sound of bitching and I'm sure you'll find her."

I laughed. "Alright, Zan. Thanks."

He waved me off. "No problem - have a good time!"

And he filtered off into the crowd, loud voice following his every step.

My heart was pummeling in my chest as I began to search for a head of brown hair.

Navigating the house was a mess; the air was thick, the music was earsplitting and the rooms were crowded. People from every which way were shouting (or, as they probably thought, singing) and the smell of alcohol was nauseating. Even with my head spinning, I continued my search, ignoring the screeching and the diluted sounds of bottles being broken.