Seasons of Love by Jaismita Alexander

Seasons of Love Part 28

Part twenty eight:

Sree- "Shehnaya, return home. Aunty needs you back."

Anu- "Where have you been? I want to meet you. Come back home."

Chotu- "Didi, come home. I miss you. Mamma cries each day. Dad is upset. Come home please."

Maya- "Are you alright Shehnaya di? Terribly missing you."

Rudra- "Why are you torturing yourself like this sweety? The fault is mine, right? Why are you punishing yourself and everyone who loves you. Go back home. Please."

It has been two weeks since I left home and my Facebook inbox was overflowing with messages. Everyone wanted me to return home.

It was just a few days before Christmas. My life was put through a sudden turmoil. My parents would pick up arguments everyday regarding my relationship with the person they didn't know about but just heard what Piyush told them. They would curse me everyday for I didn't tell them anything. They couldn't accept the fact that their daughter was in love. On the contrary, my life was actually turning into a circus. The person for whom I was fighting with my parents was drifting away from me. Rudra started avoiding the love we shared. He stopped expressing and often behaved as if I was no one to him. With every passing day he turned insensitive. And sometimes I failed to realise that I was once engaged to him. The last time we conversed, was before I left home. That day he told me that his promises and commitments matter to him more than anything else.

I had just said, "If I had known it before, I would have asked you to promise me happiness in our love story. But realise one thing Rudra, you were the one to plant the seed of love in me and now when I love you, you keep telling me that you also love someone else."

"I can't define love. It is there for both of you. I am sorry I can't lose Arjun nor Ananya. And I am also holding onto you but you are leaving me. You knew everything from before. Then why all this today? It was in our fate.", he repeated the same things.

"Rudra, you can't blame it on fate. I regret loving you so deeply. You deserve no love. You know why? Because you can't value it." I said and threw the phone.

I packed some clothes in my bag and was about to leave when mom caught me.

"What are you upto!? Where are you going?", mom asked in surprise.

"I am leaving this house. I can't stay here with people who curse me every minute.", I said sternly.

"Where will you go? I know, that guy is provoking you and you will stay with him? You can't marry him without our will. How dare you?", she yelled.

"Mom! Shut up! Just shut up!! He doesn't even have a home to give me! I am no one for him. I am no one for you all. You all are selfish! All of you are selfish.", I yelled back & burst into tears.

Before mom could say a word, I left home. I had taken out my sim card and left the phone at home. There was no shelter for me. No one to give me a home. I knew everything yet I took the risk of leaving everything behind. I sat at the bus stand hugging my bag. The scorching heat burnt my skin and my eyes couldn't stop itself. I silently cried, hiding my face in my palms. My long hair covered my face so no one else noticed the tears. For an hour I sat thinking what to do, where to go? I started feeling sick. I got up and hailed a cab and got into it.

"Salt Lake", I told the driver.

I knew one person would attend me. My aunt. She was a widowed lady and was extremely supportive. I was confident that she would help me.

I reached her home in an hour. There was no money with me so I made the taxi driver wait outside her building. The brown painted door read, "Mrs. Peterson"

I pressed the doorbell switch and waited anxiously. She opened the door in a few seconds and was surprised to see me.

"Shehnaya? What a pleasant surprise! Come in!", she greeted me with excitement.

"Aunty, I have left home and come here. I have no money. The cab is waiting outside. Can you please pay the driver? I am sorry to bother you." I said in a morose tone.

"Yes sure beta, but what happened? Okay, wait let me pay the taxi driver first. Go, freshen up . You look miserable", she said with concern.

I entered the house and while she went out to pay the driver. I went to the washroom and splashed some water on my face. My eyes caught a glimpse of a Phenyle bottle kept on the rack. The wretched soul of mine provoked me to do the wrong. I told myself, "You are not an escapist. I cannot escape from sad times. I am a warrior. I have to live to fight."

I came out of the washroom and saw my aunt sitting on the sofa. She was speaking on the phone.

"Don't worry. She is here. I'll speak to her. Bye.", she said.

"Mamma?" I asked.

"Hmm...I informed her." she replied.

"You shouldn't have." I said.

She rose up and came near me.

"Shehnaya...calm down. Come sit and tell me what the matter is", she said holding my hand.

We sat opposite to each other at the dining table. I looked at her blankly while she stared at me with eyes full of concern.

"What is it? Are you tensed because of your boards?" she asked.

"No", I nodded my head.

"Then?" she asked again.

I burst out crying once again.

"I...I love someone. I love someone but can't have him ever. Never!" I cried bitterly.

"He loves me but can't be with me and my parents...they want me to get engaged to someone else. I can't bear the bitterness between the people I love and myself. I am dying each day. I just can't live like this." I said it all without pausing. Aunt got up from her chair and hugged me.

"Shhh...shhh. Stop crying beta. You are a young girl. And at your age heart break happens. Once, twice, thrice. People will break your heart until the right person comes and glues it forever", she said.

"No no no... I don't anyone else. I love him so much and I can love no one else." I said.

"Okay. Shehnaya calm down, beta. Come, take some rest. We'll talk about this at night. Have you eaten anything?" she asked.

"No. I can't eat." I said.

"Umm...this old lady hates to keep anyone hungry. I'll make some sandwiches for you. You go and change." she said and went into the kitchen.

I picked up my bag and went to the bedroom I used to stay whenever I visited her home. My eyes were swollen. I changed my clothes and lied on the bed. My aunt came in with a plate. Her sandwiches were stuffed with chicken and cheese. They were the best in the world and my favourite. But that day I had no appetite. After finishing the sandwiches I asked her to allow me to use her laptop. She brought it for me and left me alone for sometime.

I logged into Facebook and searched for Rudra Adhikary in the chat box. He had not messaged. I opened his chatbox and typed:

"I know now why you did this to me. You never loved me. Never. It's just that you shelled out everything from me that Ananya could never give you. You are such a pervert Rudra. Chhi. I hate you. Don't you ever show me your face again!"

I hit enter and shut the laptop. My eyes couldn't stop themselves. I cried. I was angry and sad. I felt like a mad person. I loved Rudra like anything and more than anyone. I wanted him back like he used to be 2-3 months back.

I turned on the laptop and logged into Facebook again. Rudra had read the message but didn't reply.
Suddenly something struck my mind and I typed...Vikram Adhikary in the chat box.

I opened it and typed...

"V.K. you were right. Love happens to everyone. The seasons of love are true. I fell in love and now I don't know what season does my love story live in. I need to meet you once. I don't have my phone so please let me know when you are free. "

I logged out and kept the laptop on the table. I had taken a drastic step by messaging VK and I didn't know what I was actually going to tell him.
I feared that he wouldn't accept our love too. I didn't know how he would react.

To be continued....

Jaismita Alexander.