Broken But Strong (Bucky Barnes fanfic)

17. Guilt

That moment he had taken his eyes off her. That moment when he wasn't holding Alice by his side. In such a short period of time something like that had happened.
"It's okay, Buck. She's still alive. Alice is gonna be fine," Steve pulled Bucky in for a hug which he numbly returned.
Brunet was still trying to understand what had really happened. In one moment he was fighting alongside her and in the next that big guy was trying to kill her. It all had happened so fast.
Paramedics' yelling and the flight to the nearest hospital went in a blur for Bucky. Steve also had a worried look on his face and received a message that that the rest of the team is gonna be at the hospital as well. When they landed on the roof, Alice was immediately taken to the ER. One of the paramedics lead Steve and Bucky to the waiting room where the rest of the team was. People were giving them looks and even taking photos of them, but none of them cared about that. Bucky sat on one of the plastic chairs and rested elbows above his knees and hiding his face in his hands.
"What happened?" Tony asked standing in front of him.
"I don't know," Bucky answered.
"You were there, how can you not know that?!" genius raised his voice.
"I don't know, okay? Everything happened so fast and-"
"Hey, it's okay, Buck. Calm down," Steve interrupted his friend and shot a glare at the billionaire.
"Does anyone want a coffee?" Clint broke the tensed silence.
"Yeah," everyone said or just nodded.
"I'll go with you," Sam said and stood up from his seat.
"Как ты чувствуешь?" Natasha sat next to Bucky on his other side. (How do you feel?)
"Как я потерял всё," brunet quietly answered. (Like I have lost everything.)
"Но она жива. Ето самое главное," she raise one eyebrow. (But she's alive. It's the most important.)
"Я знаю, но..." Bucky sighed and straightened in his seat. (I know, but...)
"Но ты любишь её, да?" Natasha softly smiled. (But you love her, right?)
Man just looked down at his feet and impercebtibly nodded.
"There is nothing to be ashamed of," woman pulled him in for a tight hug which he gladly returned.
Knowing that someone supported him, Bucky felt a tiny bit better. But guilt never left him even for a second. He kept blaming himself for everything.
~~~
It was warm. Sun was shining brightly. There were no clouds or wind. Alice sat up and observed the meadow where she was. There was a lush grass and flowers everywhere.
"What the heck?" she stood up and noticed here bare feet and the white dress she was wearing.
Girl went forward not knowing where exactly she was going.
"Ali bear? What are you doing here?" a familiar man's voice behind her made her turn around.
"Mum? Dad?" girl whispered, tears swelling up in her eyes.
There, in front of her were standing her parents. Healthy and smiling at their daughter.
"Ali, you can't be here. Not yet," dad said shaking his head.
"What's going on?" Alice frowned.
"Wake up, honey," mum smiled.
Everything became extremely bright. Her eyes snapped open and a blinding light was above her.
"She's back!" Alice heard someone shouting and everything turned black.
~~~
Bucky was still sitting and nervously bouncing his leg up and down. He had drunk several cups of coffee and eaten one donut, which Steve forced him to eat, in the past three hours. Those had been the longest three hours in everyone's life. Marco and Caro were dealing with Italia's spec ops and other authorities, but they were keeping in touch with the Avengers. Thor was most of the time eating, Clint, Sam and Natasha were quietly talking, Tony being Tony - repairing stuff and everything, but Steve was all the time by Bucky's side. He didn't have to say anything to let him know that he's gonna be there for him. Till the end of the line. Brunet was more than thankful for having Steve as his best friend. That he hadn't left him and did everything to make his life better.
The metal door opened and a doctor went to their direction. All of the Avengers who were there stood up and went to Steve and Bucky who had stood up as well.
"I presume that you're with Miss Scott. Do you know how I can contact her family?" doctor asked with a thick Italian accent.
"We are her family," Tony answered.
From the tone of doctor's voice was hard to tell something. Steve put his hand on Bucky's shoulder and lightly squeezed it as signal that he's still there. Brunet's heart started to race uncontrolably.
"Miss Scott is stable now. She has skull fractures and we had to do a surgery to relieve some pressure on her brain. She died for almost 40 seconds and-"
"Can I see her?" Bucky interrupted doctor.
"Yes, but you can't go in now. Also I'm sorry to say that Miss Scott is in coma."
These last words crushed everyone. Especially Bucky. He slid down the wall and sat on the cold tile floor and hid his face in his hands, and started to cry. He didn't want to stop and didn't even try.
"When Ali- Miss Scott is gonna wake up?" Tony quietly asked.
He was shocked and did his best to not to brake like Bucky. The rest of the team remained quiet.
"I can't tell that. It's something you can't prognose. I'm really sorry. You can see her whenever you are ready. She's in room 312 in reanimation," doctor compassionately looked at Bucky and went back to mind his own bussiness.
"It's my fault. It's only my fault," Bucky sobbed.
"No, it's not, okay? Don't blame yourself for that. It's my fault. She left because of me. If I hadn't spoken to her like that, Alice wouldn't have left in the first place," Steve had squatted down next to his best friend and wrapped his arms around his frame.
"What I'm gonna do now?" brunet whispered.
"You have to be strong for Alice. She needs us now more than ever. And we have to be her support just like she has been for us," Sam answered.
"Excuse me, but can you, my friends, explain what is going on with Lady Alice?" Thor boomed.
"Umm, Alice is not well right now. She is in coma," Steve answered.
"What is that 'coma' thing? I do not understand that," God of Thunder frowned.
"It's something like Odinsleep," Tony sighed.
"I shall take Lady Alice to Asgard. It would be the best place for her to recover," Thor announced.
"Thor, it's more complicated. We just have to let the doctors to do their job and help Alice," Natasha softly said looking up at the Norse God.
"If you say so," he nodded.
Natasha quicky texted Marco the news. Both Caro and he were shocked and told that there are few soldiers on their way to guard Alice as Leoni's escaped to God knows where.
Bucky wiped his face and stood up.
"Where we have to go?" he determined asked.
Sam lightly patted his back and the Avengers went to the registration. The nurse was really responsive and offered to accompany them. She lead them down long hallways that seemed endless and up the stairs to the third floor. Nurse stopped by room whose one wall was completely made of glass.
"You can't go in there yet," she admonished them and went back.
Bucky and the rest of the team finally looked in. Alice was lying in the bed. She was pale, on the right side of her head was a big bandage and hair there had been shaved, on her neck was purple bruise from holding. Girl looked so fragile and vulnerable like a child. Tears swelled up in Bucky's, Steve's and Tony's eyes as well. Clint's and Natasha's faces were like for statues. They didn't express their emotions, but everyone knew they tried not to brake and go to kill Christian. Thor and Sam compassionately looked at their teammates and didn't say anything.
"It's been a long night. Let's go to get some rest," Steve quietly said.
"I'm not gonna leave Alice," Bucky stubbornly shook his head.
"Spec ops guys are gonna guard her and the hospital in case Leoni's come here or send someone," Natasha said.
"But I'm-"
"Steve is right, Bucky," Sam interrupted the brunet.
"At least let me wait for thise spec ops guys," ex-assassin deeply sighed.
And as they had been metioned they arrived with the commander in front of them.
"Hello. Christian Leoni is in interogation room and says that he'll only speak with Miss Scott," commander announced.
"May I speak to him?" Bucky asked.
"You can try, but I don't think it will change anything," commander lightly shrugged.
"Then let's go. Shall we?" brunet raised one eyebrow.
"I'll go with you," Steve said and Bucky nodded.
Tony had been surprisingly silent that evening and everyone had noticed that. They knew that he was suffering and was afraid of losing one of his closest friends, a sister. Genious eternally loved her and couldn't imagine his life without Alice anymore. She was the light in his darkness just like for Bucky. He badly wanted that Bruce was there because he could probably figure out something like always. He had lost enough people dear to him and thought about that Alice had died made him insane. Tony prayed God for the first time in his life for Alice to be okay and wake up soon. He was ready to overstep himself for her. That's how much girl meant to him. He regretted never saying that to her.
Clint was ready shoot an arrow through all Leoni's eyes and everyone knew that. Everyone knew as well that Natasha wouldn't hesitate to shoot them or kill them any other way. Thor was mad angry that Alice, his friend, was hurt and in coma. He never wanted his friends to be hurt. Sam knew too well how it was to lose a close friend and prayed for Alice as well. Both Steve and Bucky blamed themselves and just wanted justice. Blond knew how angry his friend was so decided to stay by his side to avoid from any relapse or anger outburst towards someone.
All of the Avengers wanted two things now - Alice to be better as soon as possible and justice.

--------A/N-------

Thank you for reading and voting!
Hi, I know I update irregulary and I'm sorry. I just feel happy and good in one moment and in the next I'm depressed as hell. And one situation isn't helping at all. I've mentioned several times to my friend that I'm depressed, but she kinda lets that slip. And my other friend - I told him so many things about myself (depressing truth) and he told me so kind words and even made smile and laugh later.
Sorry for bothering you with this...
Undi