When All Else Fails (Mavin)

Chapter Four: Attempt Five?

Chapter Four:
Attempt Five?

I kept my deal with Michael, even though it killed me inside. I didn't talk to him, not even during Let's Plays. Michael didn't ask me to be apart of Rage Quits anymore. He wouldn't even look at me in the office.

On Wednesday, I had had enough.

"Geoff, I'm feeling a little sick. I think I'm gonna take an early leave," I told him.

Geoff turned around in his chair and eyed me. I knew what he was trying to say. If I did anything, I would be in a lot of trouble. I just shrugged and Geoff sighed.

"Sure, I'll give you a ride in a minute," Geoff told me.

I waited for him and noticed someone watching me. I looked over in the direction and was surprised to see Michael giving me a sympathetic look. The moment he saw me looking at him he changed the look to a glare and turned back to his desk.

Geoff tapped me and walked me out of the office.

...

"Okay, Gav. I'm leaving you alone for twenty minutes. I need to grab something at work and then I'll be right back. If you try anything, I'm not gonna let you leave my sight for a second, you hear?" Geoff asked me. I sighed and nodded.

"Okay. I'll see you then," Geoff told me before he left.

Too bad I wasn't gonna listen.

I walked back up to my room and I felt the tears begin to stream down my face again. I pulled up my hoodie sleeves and I saw the numerous scarred cuts across my arm. I had enough. I was gonna kill myself this time. I would be able to do it, I know I could.

I screamed out as I pulled a belt out of my closet. I tied it to my ceiling fan and created a noose with the remainder of the belt. I continued to cry as I grabbed the suicide letter I had created just the night before. I placed it on my bed and piled up my pillows to stand on.
I slipped my head through the noose and took a couple minutes to reflect on my life.

I remembered being little and having one of the richest families in England. My father always coming home after I went to bed, causing me to never see him. My mother always too busy with friends to pay any attention to her youngest son. My brother was the only one who paid any attention to me, but when he turned ten, he stopped treating me like a brother and more like an enemy.

I remembered getting older and realizing that I was gay. I remembered having to break up with a girl that I never really liked in the first place. She hated me after that and got the entire school to hate me as well.

I remembered starting SloMoGuys and how I thought life was turning around when I got hired at RoosterTeeth. I remembered becoming friends with the AH guys and first falling in love with Michael.

I then remembered when I fell into this terrible depression. The depression that stopped me from ever being happy again. It started around the time when Michael and Lindsay's relationship started to turn more serious. I remembered my heart breaking when I found out that Michael had told her that he loved her.
I blinked away the tears that continued to stream down my face. I looked down at the floor, knowing that's where I was about to be, or hanging just above it.

I counted down from three.

3...

I remembered Michael's smile as he laughed at how stupid I was acting. His little dimples peeking out and his eyes squinting behind his glasses, tears beginning to spring out of his eyes as he stared at me, still on the floor.

2...

I remembered Michael hugging me like his life depended on it. Whether it was just from him and I screaming at a game that scared us, or if he genuinely needed a hug from his boi. His strong arms latched tightly around my waist while mine rested around his neck.

1...

I remembered Michael's soft, pink lips against mine. Even if it was for a split second, it was still the greatest spilt second of my life. That was what I'd miss the most.

I stepped off the pillows.
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Author's Note:
OMG I FUCKING SUCK. I DIDN'T EVEN GET THIS CHAPTER OVER 1000 WORDS! Also, Gavin no!!! Bebe Gavin! Sorry, my feels were everywhere today. It's been a rough day and I felt like I needed to express myself through writing. Thanks for reading! Really hoped you enjoyed. Please tell me how you think I'm doing. I'd really appreciate it. Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed.