If Only

Chapter 5

Two days.

Two days was enough to make me go insane. Here I am, in prison for my mistakes. That's alot to take in, especially in just two days. I wonder how the Autobots had taken all of this in? Or Lennox and Epps? I'm sure the government agents didn't give a flip what happened to a 19 year only girl. Who would? In all honesty, they didn't seem to care about me at all, and I think that's what hurt the most. For so long I went without a family, and then I left home just to come here.

However, I am not one to expect much, especially not from those tin-cans and filthy excuses for the military.

Everything that was needed to be done, was done. My records of past law breaks, not that I had any, was searched for. The military, and government officials, were sent to my home to retrieve and of my bombs or technology I had used, which probably included taking my computer and helmet. I was told my sentence was 12 years, for disruptions of military personnel.

12 years.

12 years here. I'm 19, that would be so much of my life taken from me. Maybe I could have fixed what I had done to myself; maybe mend the war I built with Megatron. Or, I could have died battling the monster. But alas, now I'm here, paying my debt for a crime I committed.

However, from what I believe, and what I have seen, I think the government strategically placed me in the back of the prison, alone from everyone else. I am also restricted access from computers and most technology. Computers was one thing that didn't surprise me, seeing as I hacked into N.E.S.T. Ha, their faces were priceless when I told them that.

I wonder what they're going to do once it's known all of the other things I have done?

I'm also hoping they realize I never used ET parts in any of my weapons of self defense. Do they even care I did any of that to save people? Well, they'll probably find all the footage taken from the cameras and see what I have done. Good and bad. Maybe that will do something for me. I don't think I can take 12 years of this confinement.

It's possible I was so accustomed to the freedom granted to me for so long that this might actually mentally unstable me. Which scares me.

One good thing I will say is I do have access to the outdoors and reading. One thing that has special restrictions towards me though is talking to others. It doesn't surprise me though, I wouldn't expect the government wanting me to exploit their innermost secrets of N.E.S.T and secret aliens; not that I plan on sharing alien secrets.

Standing up from my position on the metaled stool, I walk to my cell entrance and step out into the grey halls of the prison.

Walking past the dining area, I recall the morning. Which, I will say, wasn't pleasant. The food here isn't great, but I don't know what to expect from prison. Adding on top of nasty food, there was fighting between two of the inmates. One ended up gaining a black eye, while the other a sprained wrist. I'm hopeful to stay away from the criminals as much as possible, if that can even be done.

Besides that, I begin treading into the outside area set out for the inmates. The squared out expanse has been lined with 2 barbed wire fences and guards that keep surveillance most, if not all times of the day. On the inside of the fence; however, inmates are given a basketball court along with a blank area to roam around on.

I slowly make my way towards an empty bench near the end of the court and take a seat, taking in my surroundings. I haven't spoken to any of the other prisoners, not once learning of their stories. Although, I really doubt any of them are anything like what happened to me. Wonder if they would believe me if I told them I hacked into a classified military file? Ha, that would be a laugh.

After sitting here and doing nothing for a good five minutes, I look up to see a darker skinned lady walking towards the bench. She had the same orange suit, with tight braided hair put back in a pony tail.  She ended up taking a seat next to me, and smiled before saying, "Well, I'm going to guess that, just like everyone else here, whatever you're in for, isn't your fault?"

Never really thought about the question honestly. Didn't think anyone would come up and speak to me at all, I tend to simply stick to myself. But what if she asks what I did? How would I answer that?

"Er, not exactly. It was my fault and I do deserve it. Technically, anyway." Turning to her, I shrug.

"Then what did you do, exactly."

I guess I just have to make up a lie. Seeing as if I were to tell the truth, she would think I was crazy.

"I hacked into a bank."

She laughed.

"Wow, that is definitely a different story than most people here say." Sighing, before turning her gaze to the ground, she began again. "I robbed a few stores to try and feed my baby. I was caught though, and sent here, and then took her away."

I forgot about that side of prison. That's why most women were here. Because they were single moms and couldn't feed their children, how sad. I only know of this from the quick research I did on prison when I was younger; the research because I always feared that I would be caught. The feeling did go away at one point, but still here I am.

"I'm so sorry." I replied, with a low tone.

"What's your sentence? If you don't mind me by asking. I'm Zhalia by the way." She asked, lifting her head and turning to me.

"12 years, and I'm Phoneix, by the way."

"You look way too young to be in here. So answer me this, how could you possibly hack into a bank?"

Oh, didn't think about that question.

"Yeah, 19 is quite a young age." Zhalia gasped at the knowledge of my name. Probably not many young women in here. "I would say peer pressure, truthfully."

Seemed adequate.

But nothing more could be said, and after that, a guard came up and shoved me away. Back into my cell. And if I had to guess, it was because I had too much time to talk to another prisoner. Life here should be fun, but maybe the Decepticons can't find me here as well.

***

So, this is where I stayed the rest of the day. In a dingy old cell, with nothing to do but remember everything I once had. It's awful really, with too much time to think, you begin to realize bad stuff. Stuff you shouldnt. All the things you regret and things you wish you had done.

I mostly remember my family, and all our happy moments spent together. My four brothers, and oh the trouble they caused. They would always cause ruckus somehow, no matter where they would go, and mom would always clean up after them. And yet? I still loved them.

Ha, my dad taught me how to invent and to use computers. I don't particularly believe he would be proud with how I used that intelligence, although. Even though it was to save lives.

Mom taught me to be a leader and how I should always stand up for others, no matter what it would do to me. That's why I saved that kid back a few days ago. It hurt me worse than I was already injured, but it saved the boy which is all that mattered.

Most importantly of all, my four brothers: Aaron, Tanner, Caulan, Shaun, taught me to stand up for what I believe in. Also, I can be stronger than my enemies if I believe in myself. All of these things, I've used with courage and honor. Knowing it would please them.

Lying my head on the flat pillow, I smile to myself. I guess not all of my memories are bad.