BEFORE YOU GO ▸ O. GIROUD ✓

neuf

one more taste of your lips just to bring me back, to the places we've been and the nights we've had, because if this is it, then at least we can end it right;

lillian

Writing Olivier a letter isn't the best way to end my relationship with my husband, but I can't face him. How could I? This letter will be the last time I'll ever speak to him again.

I took a piece of paper, my favorite stationery, the one he brought from France. And began to write out everything I wanted to tell him before I go.

My dear Olivier,

Was I not enough? Or should I say--Was I ever enough for you?

I dont think so.

Even after what you did, a part of me is still begging to forgive you because I have to admit that I love you, Olivier. With all my soul, with every fiber in my entire being.

How could I imagine life wihout you? Without you trying to wake me up at two in the morning just because you want ice cream. How could I live without wearing your jersey with pride and I've grown to love watching you and supporting you in what you love.

Do you still remember our first date? We went to a theme park with your team mates and their wags. Of course, we went our separate ways. Remember when you won me that huge giraffe? We named it Gerry, because you told me that you had a dog named Gerry before. You were so random, I loved that part of you.

How about the time when I had a miscarriage, remember that? I remember it like it was yesterday, we both cried for hours and we really wanted to have a boy that time and we could've named him Sebastian.

Those memories we shared together, did you forget about them that quick? Did I make it that easy for you to forget about me?

How could you, Olivier? What did I do to deserve this from you. To be completely honest, I dont want to do this but do I really have a choice? I actually thought you cheated on me only once, but more than 3 times? With different women? How could you. Maybe I deserve this, but Jade doesn't.

I trusted you. To take care of my heart, when you knew that I really couldn't.

Trust, what a used word it has become.

I know we couldn't spend a lot of time together, but I understood that fact the moment we started to date. I know what would happen to me when I started going out with you. I had to orient my self with the pros and cons of being your WAG. But did you? Did you even realize what you were getting yourself into before you put that stupid ring on my finger? No.

This letter wont be long. I don't have to explain myself, and I don't have to listen to your excuses.

Have a good life, Olivier.

I wish you well.

-Lillian Maxwell xx