Past Time

4

The next day, Edward wasn't in class. So, he really did leave. I breezed through my classes and sat with the Cullen's during lunch.

"Where's Edward?" I asked them, as soon as I sat down.

"Don't worry, he didn't leave," Rosalie told me in an almost bored tone.

"He just needed a day off, is all," Alice reassured me. "He'll be back tomorrow, I'm sure."

"Is it because of that Bella chick?" Emmet asked before I could.

Alice glanced at me, then looked back at him. "I think there's more to it."

What she said went right over his head, but Rosalie caught it and looked straight at me. "It was because of you that he was thinking about leaving?"

"Nothing's secret in our house," Emmet told me, leaning back in his chair with a grin.

"It wasn't all because of me," I explained to them. "Part of it was because of Bella, too."

"I don't see why she has such a big effect on him," Rosalie said haughtily.

"Her blood sings to him," I told her.

   "I understand that part," Rosalie said. "But it's happened to all of us, and we've never acted as he has." She looked at Alice. "It's because of your visions. You just had to tell him about her."

   "I told him about seeing Audrey, too." Alice pointed out to her, then turned to look at me with a smile. "I had a vision the day before you showed here, about you and Edward. You were both very happy, and very in love."

   I grunted. "I don't want to know anything about it, Alice."

   Her face fell a little. "Why not?"

   "I know just as well as you do, that the future is always changing. Edward and I might not happen," I told her, my voice sounding sharper than I intended, and I softened it a bit before going on. "So, there's no need to push it anymore than needed. There's no need to get my hopes up, or hers."

   "I have high hopes for you two," Alice told me.

   I didn't want to snap at her, so I excused myself, and left school. I told the nurse that I was feeling a bit sick, and was immediately excused from the rest of my classes. I really shouldn't make this a habit.

  

 When I got to my cottage, I saw Edwards silver Volvo sitting in the grass. I opened the door, already knowing he'd be waiting for me inside.

   "You didn't leave," I said as soon as I walked in.

   "It was immature for me to think of running away," he told me.

   I sat down next to him, crossing my legs, and looked at him. "Alice told me about the vision she seen of us."

   "I knew she would," he said, then looked at me. "You seem disappointed."

   I hesitated before shaking my head and telling him, "I'm not disappointed, it just makes me a bit weary."

   "Why?" He asked me.

   "I could fall for you, just to lose you to a human girl," I explained to him with a chuckle. "It is a bit ridiculous."

   "I suppose you're right," Edward said slowly after a moment. "But I've always heard that love is war."

   "Right," I mumbled. "So, why are you here?"

   "You're my distraction from Bella," he told me honestly. "I hope you don't mind."

   "Not at all." Just as long as you're not with her, I thought to myself.

   "Do you miss Joseph?" Edward asked me.

I looked him over. "He is like a father to me, so yes. I do miss him. How could I not? I may have stopped aging, but he raised me."

"I feel the same about Carlisle," Edward said. "I couldn't have asked for anyone better as a father, and the same goes for Esme. She's the best mother anyone could ask for."

"I hated my mother," I admitted. "I mean, she traded me for God knows what. I don't think she loved me. I don't think she ever knew what love was. My father left us before I was born. I honestly believe my mom tried to get rid of me while I was still in the womb, but she didn't. Lucky for me, I suppose."

"I know my mom loved me," Edward said softly. "She's the reason why Carlisle saved me. She told him to save me at whatever cost. She wanted me to live more than anything."

"She seemed to love you very much," I commented, even though I wasn't going off of much.

  He seemed to freeze for a moment, a small smile on his face, thinking of past times. Times that aren't coming back, but should be looked back at fondly. But he came back to the present, and looked at me with what looked like concern. "Are you okay?" He asked me gently.

   I felt my face become that of stone. Not wanting to give away any emotion. "I'm fine."

   He touched my leg. "You don't have to lie to me, I hope you know that."

   My jaw clenched, and unclenched. I looked down at his hand, then looked at his face. He looked so sincere that I just knew I could believe him. He wouldn't lie to me, he'll always be honest with me, no matter what. I appreciated that.

   "No, I'm not okay, but I will be," I told him. "I can handle my own. Just remember what I told you the other day."

   "About listening to my heart? Even though it's no longer beating," he said with a small grin.

   I smiled at him. "Yes, that."

   "That's advice I will carry around with me my whole life." With that, he stood up and walked towards my door. He looked back at me with the door wide open. "Thank you."

   "You're welcome," I told him quietly, knowing that he could hear me just as well as if I spoken right in his ear, and then he left.