Genderfluid

Intro

Where do I even start? Do I give a stereotypical introduction? Do I jump right in? Do I tell you guys 3 weird secrets about myself? Do I stop breaking the fourth wall? Hmmm...

I guess I should start by explaining who I am.

I'm me.

I say that because I go by different names, and I want to tell you all of them here so that when I suddenly refer to myself as a different name later on, nobody's confused. First, maybe I should explain why I go by different names.

I'm genderfluid. That means I don't always identify as the same gender. I can identify as male, female, both, neither, or anything on the gender spectrum. Personally, I usually fall under male, female, or neither. I go by different names depending on which gender I currently identify as.

Male: T
Female: M
Any other gender: Either or the above 2 names, or MK.

As for pronouns, I use he/his and she/hers depending on how I feel. If you don't want to keep changing pronouns or if you aren't sure which gender I am, using they/them is perfectly fine. If you misgender me, I won't make a huge deal out of it. I might quickly correct it and move on, but because it gets confusing with the constant changing, I don't get offended by it. Unless you're doing it just to be rude. If it's an honest mistake, that's fine.

My gender changes randomly, I can go for months at a time as one gender and then suddenly switch to something else, I can switch half way through the day. Unfortunately, there's not a set time period for how long you stay a gender.

Not a lot of people know that I'm genderfluid. In fact, only 2 people know. That's because I'm not comfortable yet with telling a lot of people I know in real life, and I don't want to have to deal with ignorant kids at my school questioning me about it and having to constantly argue that my gender, whatever it happens to be, is valid. Because almost nobody knows, I always present as female in public situations, because that was the gender assigned to me at birth. If I'm feeling more masculine, I'll dress differently and not wear makeup, but to everyone but those 2 people, I'm still a girl. Because of this, I'm often dysphoric. Dysphoria is a common feeling amongst transgender people, it means that you feel uncomfortable with the body you were given at birth, and it causes very bad insecurities and can lead to depression. I have an amazing friend who somehow always manages to make me feel better though, so I've never reached that point due to dysphoria.

I feel like it's safe to say I've covered gender for the most part. As this journal/book thing continues on it'll hopefully become more clear and easier to understand. If I've explained something poorly or you want a more in depth explanation, feel free to message me and I'll do the best I can to explain it.

Other things about me...

I'm pansexual. This means that I am capable of experiencing attraction towards any gender. It also means that I can feel attraction towards people without ever having to see or meet them in person. Pansexuality is unfortunately one of the more confusing orientations out there, in my opinion. A lot of people confuse it with bisexuality, but I can assure you that they are not the same thing. I also identify as a quoiromantic, which means that I have a hard time distinguishing because platonic and romantic actions. This differs based on who I'm with. I think part of the reason I can't distinguish between the two very well is because I'm very socially awkward and I'm not the greatest person at deciding what's acceptable and unacceptable and different stages of friendship. I'm working on that, though (not really).

I'm a proud feminist. Being a feminist means that you support equal rights for everyone, it does not mean you hate men. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either lying or ignorant.

I absolutely love technical theatre. My aspiration is to work either sound or lights for a band, and hopefully work at Warped Tour. After that, I'm thinking about moving to Vegas and working lights or sound for shows there.

I think that pretty much covers everything important about me...

Oh. One more thing. At the end of every chapter I'll sign off with my name and current gender in parentheses. Hopefully that'll make it easier to use correct names and pronouns and all that good stuff.

-MK (no preference)

Note: As of 7/25/16, I just go by the name Mikah.