Genderfluid

Symptoms of Being Human

Let me start by saying this:

It seems to be impossible to find LGBTQ+ books.

And by that I mean fictional books with the main character being somewhere in the LGBTQ+ Community. There are plenty of journals, like this one, but finding fiction is much harder. Decently written fiction, that is. 

And I guess even that isn't entirely true. I see a lot of very sexual LGBT books out there. But I want something more real than that. Something not so sexual.

The reason I'm talking about any of this is because today I found a really good, published, LGBTQ+ book. The main character is Genderfluid, and the story is pretty well written. It's Symptoms of Being Human by Jeff Garvin. The book is about $11 for the eBook, I'm not sure how much it would be to order a physical copy.

I've been reading it a lot today, and after I finish writing this I'm going to finish binge-reading it.

Here's why I love the book:

1. The main character, as previously stated, is Genderfluid. Which is really, really cool. It's hard enough to find books with well written transgender people, but finding a book with a lesser known identity is actually amazing.

2. It's fairly well written. I'll be honest, I wasn't sure of it the first chapter or so, something just seemed a little off to me at first, but that was probably just due to my disbelief at finding a book where I could actually relate to the main character.

3. Riley's (the main character) sex isn't apparent. Now, I haven't finished the book so maybe it's stated later, but for the most part it isn't mentioned. The parents, the only people who would actually know, never use pronouns because their dialogue is always to Riley, not about them. There are some parts that hint at what their sex could be, but so far it hasn't been explicitly stated. And I really like that. Because someone's sex should not, and does not, matter. It makes it so much harder for readers to purposely misgender them. It also allows the readers who relate to Riley to see even more of themselves as this character, it somehow makes them more relateable.

4. It shows issues Genderfluid (and really any Genderqueer person) people face. The main character catches themself accidentally assuming people's gender a few times in the story and feeling guilty for it, because they of all people should know not to do that. And that alone is one of the reasons this character seem so real, so easy to understand. They have flaws, they make mistakes too, even regarding things they themselves experience and are uncomfortable with.

5. Overall, the plot has been really interesting. I don't have much to comment on here, because I don't really want to spoil anything.

There are a lot of really good lines I'm definitely going to use as quotes in essays someday (Hey, if I'm forced to write them I might as well write them about something I care about), but so far one has really stood out to me.

"You know what's messed up? People tolerate secrecy. I see it in my life. It's like, it's okay to have gay feelings or trans feelings or gender fluid feelings-- as long as you keep them inside. As long as you don't 'act' on them. Whatever that means. People don't condemn you for being trans. They condemn you for embracing it" (54).

And that got me thinking. Because it's true.

People don't hate you for being trans until you come out. And, as soon as you come out, aren't you embracing that about yourself? Sure, you don't have to be happy and you certainly don't have to like being trans, but the second you come out you've openly acknowledged that about yourself. But here's the thing, you were still trans before you came out. So, yeah, people don't hate people for being trans, or gay, lesbian, bi, pan, demi, ace, fluid, flux, or anything on the spectrum. They hate us for coming out. Because coming out is seen as some act of defiance. Telling the world, "I don't fit into this mold you've created, and I'm going to let you know." People aren't upset that you're LGBTQ+ until you tell them that you're LGBTQ+.

Now, that may make coming out seem even more scary. It kind of freaked me out at first. But if anything, the more I read, the more I find myself wanting to come out. To stop pretending to be someone who I'm not. I know I'll lose people. I've always known that would be a consequence to coming out. I know there will most likely be other consequences. But I can't hide myself away forever.

That being said, I've already decided that I shouldn't come out to my family until I'm no longer dependent on my parents. I really can't deal with the repercussions I fear would ensue if I came out while unable to support myself (even if I could currently, I would have to be emancipated to be able to leave with no fear of being returned. And I just don't think it's a case I would win).

Other people, however, are potentially a different story.

I think I think too much.

Anyway, the book is really good and I highly recommend getting it, as it is worth the cost. If you still aren't sure you can always get the free sample online and see if it's something you're interested in.

Does anyone know any other good LGBTQ+ fictional stories? I have a few on Wattpad I'm reading, but I could always use more.

-T (agender, but still working on some name stuff)