Chapter 8

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Tobias  P.O.V
It hurts me that Tris is starting to self harm herself. I would have never thought that she would do something like that; I mean even though my father beats me, I don't do it but when Tris told me about what happen in the past gets me really pissed off. That guy could be anywhere and I need to protect her so if he comes, I'll beat the shit out of him if he even gets near my girl.

I really didn't want to go back to class, but we had too. Chris didn't say a word to Tris and I do think that Chris is being a little to hard on Tris, I mean she just lost her dad yesterday. And I bet it's even harder for her because he can't be there like she would want him too. I lost my mom and I would love her to be here with me for all that stuff. But also I really don't since she left me with that monster.

After they came to get us, we walk back into class and everybody just stared at us. "Alright students get back to work." Ms.Wu says. We walk over to the corner of the room and sit on the bean bags. "So Tris what do you want to do this weekend?" Marlene ask. "I don't know okay? We might do my fathers funeral."

Marlene is about to ask a question when the bell rings. And everybody goes out of the room but Tris stays back. "Babe, your not going to come?"I ask. "I have to ask the teacher a question." She says. I look at her then give her a small smile then leave.

Tris P.O.V
I wait till Tobias leaves then go up to Ms.Wu. "Hey I wanted to ask you a question." I say. "Yea sure what's up?"
" I wanted to know if that when I need to, can I use the recording studio when I need to...?"

"Honey, use it when you need it okay?" I nod and wait for her to leave. I go to the corner of the room and choose a song to sing. I choose the song Lay Me Down By Sam Smith.

Yes, I do, I believe
That one day I will be
Where I was right there
Right next to you

And it's hard
The days just seem so dark
The moon and the stars
Are nothing without you

Your touch, your skin
Where do I begin?
No words can explain
The way I'm missing you

Deny this emptiness
This hole that I'm inside
These tears
They tell their own story

Told me not to cry when you were gone
But the feeling's overwhelming, it's much too strong

Can I lay by your side?
Next to you, you
And make sure you're alright
I'll take care of you
I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight

I'm reaching out to you
Can you hear my call?
This hurt that I've been through
I'm missing you, missing you like crazy

Can I lay by your side?
Next to you, you
And make sure you're alright
I'll take care of you
I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight

Lay me down tonight
Lay me by your side
Lay me down tonight
Lay me by your side
Can I lay by your side?
Next to you
You

Once I finish the song, I hear a claps. I turn around and see Tobias. "I was looking all over for you, I was kinda worried." "Well you found me." I say.
I get out of the recording studio  and walk over to him.
"Babe, I know that if I ask you are you okay your going to get mad, so just tell me what's wrong?" "I have so much emotions running through me. I don't know what's wrong and maybe Lauren is right. Maybe I am the reason my dad isn't alive."

"But you know she is lying, Tris and you know that. I hate it when you don't listen to what people are saying to you. I tell you your beautiful and you always say your not; so why can't you just listen to what people are saying to you?" "Oh so I'm supposed to listen to what everybody says? So what Lauren said is what I should listen too?"

"Okay don't be a smart ass Tri--" "No you just said I should." "Really Tris. Tell me this.. Why are you cutting yourself Tris? And don't tell me it's about your dad and your ex boyfriend. Tell me why?"

"Caleb, Chris, My dad, My past and then you." "Why me?"he asked forgetting about his madness. "Because why do you want me. You know I have problems. And now with my dad it makes the problems even worse." "Tris.." "I'll see you tomorrow Tobias" I say and walk out of school.

>>

I head home after I left school. My mom nor Caleb aren't home so that's good I guess. I unlock the door and head straight up to my room. I go to the bathroom and pull out my blade. I make about to... I don't even know anymore that's how bad I did it.

I even do it in both of my arm. I take two pills of pain killers and clean the cuts; some are deep and some aren't.
I look at the clock and its 3:00 and Caleb should be getting home soon.

I hear my door bell ring and I head downstairs. I open the door and I just see a package on the floor, nothing else not even anybody else. I pick it up and put it on the floor. I grab a knife and open up the package.

Inside the package is bubble wrapped things. I see the note card and read the message
Hey honey. I'm so sorry this had came late but I remember you talking about that favorite prom dress that you really wanted but you said you might not go. I just wanted to say that I want you to go to prom because I never went to prom and I don't want you to miss that special moment so I bought you the dress that you wanted. I love you so much honey never forget that NO MATTER WHAT...😘😘

After reading that tears were in my eyes and I just hugged the note card and I just stayed on the floor sobbing my eyes out.
>>

I got to say this was my favorite chapter. I just wanted to say that if you are self harming you can talk to me I know what it's like to self harm just don't feel alone or scared to talk to me. You are all beautiful inside and out. Love you guys😘😘

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