(UNDER HEAVY EDITING) lost cause ⋙ Carl Grimes

Chapter 22

Chapter 22- EDITED
Secrets : S2 E6
Part : 2

|Haley|

I sat next to Carl, rubbing his back. I knew he felt guilty, and it hurt me, seeing him like that. But not as much as it did when he was shot.

"How the hell did this happen?!" Lori snapped as she walked towards Rick, Dale and Shane.

"Well, it's my fault. I let him in the R.V. He said he wanted a walkie. That you sent him for one." Dale said.

"So on top everything else, he lied?" Lori asked. I felt guilty too now. I had lied too.

Carl looked at his parents but looked back down.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay." I said.

"You know it's not."

I sighed. "Do you want to hear a secret?"

He looked at me, which I took as a yes. "I lied too. To Dale and T-Dog. And I think your right. You need something to protect yourself with."

He looked at me again, and raised his eyebrows. "What did you lie about?"

I blushed. I couldn't tell him that I told them that we kissed. Nu-uh. "I told them..." Crap. What was I going to say? "I told them that... I...had a boyfriend."

Carl chuckled. "But you don't."

"How do you know?"

"You said you lied. And even though you did, he's dead. A walker." He said as he looked back down.

My face turned into shock and hurt, cause I did. Being the most popular girl in school, boys were throwing themselves at me, and I had sadly, took advantage of it. And I liked him, we were close. I just never had time to grieve over him, because, maybe...maybe, he was alive.

Sure we never had our first kiss, or went on dates, cause like Dale said, we were twelve! But I had an obsessive crush in him.

Carl looked up at me, probably because I was silent, and wasn't rubbing his back anymore.

He looked even more guilty now, as a single tear escaped. I hadn't grieved over my family and friends since I joined the group, and that broke me. I felt like I had forgotten them, and I had.

"I'm sorry." He said, but I just got up. I didn't like him seeing me like this.

I slowly walked towards the farm house. Maggie, or Beth would know what to do. They had gotten over this faze. I shook as sobs racked my body.

I had lost everything, and realization was hitting me hard.

I wasn't sure if anyone saw me, but my hyperventilating was bad. I heard engines speed off, but I couldn't see much. I knew it was the group going to gun practice. I wasn't going to attend anyway, so I just continued.

I finally approached the porch and knocked. Maggie opened the door and when she saw me crying she quickly ushered me in.

-

I had explained everything to Maggie. Since before the outbreak to 1 hour ago. [she has an interesting back story, and it's not that I'm too lazy to write it, I just want to save it for later cause it's going to have a huge impact on their relationship!] I was still hiccuping and a few stray tears still fell, and I was still grieving. Maggie had given me tissues and was letting me grieve, and I was sure we were okay now. She had forgiven for sneaking up on the barn.

She rubbed my back and whispered soothing things in my ear as I hugged her.

I was staring out the window as I saw the cars pulling back. "They're back."

Maggie got up, grabbed my hand and smiled. "C'mon. Here, c'mon." She pulled me out the house and I knew I looked horrible.

My nose was red, my eyes red, my face was red, everything seemed to be red. There were so many tear stains over my face, and my lips were swollen.

Maggie put an arm around me, and we watched from the porch as the cars pulled up at camp. I knew they wouldn't see me from here, but I didn't want them to. I didn't want them to think I was weak. Which I was.

Maggie saw the terrified look on my face as she kneeled down to my height. "Do you want to stay over?"

I nodded rapidly as she looked at me.

"Okay." She said as she started walking towards camp. I saw her walking over to Rick, and tapping his shoulder. Rick turned around and Maggie started talking. Rick looked at me and I looked away. I didn't need anyones pity and when I looked back, I saw Rick nodding and Maggie coming back towards me. I hugged her quickly, as a new round of tears came.

-

"Maggie, no, no. Please don't leave me!"

"I'm going to be back before you even know it okay?" She smiled.

"Glenn can do it on his own! He's done it a million times before!"

"Just to make sure--"

"Maggie! Please!"

Maggie sighed. "Beth, Patricia, and my dad will be here."

I hugged her tight as I cried. "I don't want to be left alone, Maggie. Don't leave me."