Solo

Chapter Nine: Distractions

The maddening rain was a constant presence on Sunday. The gloomy day put me in a somber mood. I sprawled across my bed staring out the window, distancing myself from reality. Staying inside was going to make the day creep by. I wished I could bury my head in my pillow and sleep all day. I couldn't believe I was looking forward to going back to school. Actually, that wasn't true. I wanted to see the object of my obsession—Lucas Andrews. After Friday night, I'd decided that I would allow myself to obsess over him, but I wouldn't accept any one-on-one dates. I would only attend group events. I didn't want him to get the wrong idea.

I forced myself to keep busy by digging through my closet looking for clothes I had no problem parting with. I stared at the enormous pile on my bed, not realizing until now how much I'd brought that I didn't need. Apparently, summers didn't reach the scorching digits here I was accustomed to in California. I had no need for seventeen swimsuits or a vast array of nightclub attire.

I filled two large garbage bags. When Mom came in, I basked in the glory of my accomplishments.

"Wow, do you still have clothes to wear to school?"

"Yeah. I didn't get rid of everything."

"I'm proud of you honey."

Mom seemed a little down. "Is everything all right?"

"I'm just in a funk."

"It's the weather. I felt the same way earlier. I'm really missing the California sunshine."

Mom perched on the edge of my bed and looked around. "You're right, this room really is pink."

"The more I see it, the more it grows on me," I snickered.

"Let me know if you want to make a change. I'm sure I can talk Grandma into letting us paint." For a few seconds, Mom gazed off into space—maybe she was rehashing memories from her childhood. She walked to my calendar. "What's with all the numbers in the boxes?"

I felt my cheeks burn. "I was bored, so I took Dad's approximate return date and made a countdown calendar. The little blue numbers are how many days, the red are weeks, and the purple are months."

"That's very thorough of you. Do you really hate this place that much?"

I tried to find the right words. What could I say that wouldn't hurt her feelings? "I don't hate it; it's just hard to adjust to a small town. I'm holding back on making friends." I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. "I'm still devastated about leaving my friends."

"Honey, friends are very important. You're going to need a few to survive in this town for a year—trust me." She walked over and embraced me. "Believe me; your year will go a lot smoother if you let people in."

That night, Mom's words repeated themselves while I tossed trying to drift to sleep. My thoughts switched between new friends and Lucas Andrews. Finally, I decided to stick with my original plan—be courteous, but quiet. I would blend in with the walls at school, but after the bell, I would escape to my secluded haven. I felt incomplete without an outlet for dancing and my sweet meadow provided that. I wished the rain would stop and allow me a well-deserved visit. One hour of sunshine—was that too much to ask?

I awoke to birds' chirping and ran to my window to confirm that the sun, indeed, was shining. I planned my afternoon. Lunch outside would be an added bonus.

My morning routine was the same as usual. Casey was extra bubbly because of our success in Eugene. She couldn't stop talking about prom. I held my excitement in. I didn't want to over dramatize the fact that Lucas had asked me, even though I was secretly bursting inside.