I Don't Need You (A Zayn Malik Fan Fiction)

Chapter 10 ~ Confession time

Chapter 10~ Kali

Three days, that's how long it's been since my discussion with Harry, and finding Zayn in my home....again.  Things with Harry are back to normal, well normal for us, school wise. By this I mean he hasn't said a single word to me and he's back with Ali. 

As for Zayn, well I've said 'hi' to him in the hall yesterday. Things are just weird. I've said it before and I'll say it again, part of me really wants him but another part is scared. 

"Kali", Louis pokes me with his pencil and points to the teacher. 

"I'm sorry what was that?", I ask our math teacher. 

"Just pay attention', he points to me then turns back to the board in front of him .

"You okay?", Louis asks. 

I sigh and slide down in my chair a little, "Yeah."

"What's wrong? Is it him and new boy?", he asks while looking around to be sure no one listens. 

"Well there's that and it's my...", I stop talking. 

"What? Your what?"

"Louis! Kali! STOP TALKING!", he slams his fist on the desk. "Ungrateful children!", he mutters. 

I flinch at the sound. My dad use to call me into his office and when he'd yell he'd smack his desk, making the same sound. 

I get up and run out of the room, down the hall to the empty English room. No teacher has taken this room ever so it remains unused and empty. 

I can't breathe, I'm crying so much, I gasp for air. Today is his birthday...my dads...and those thoughts come flooding back. The sound of his hand hitting the polished, hard wood desk. I would flinch and then his laughter would boom as he called me weak and a failure. 

I hate my self for thinking this but I really just want Zayn to hold me. I pick up the nearest book and chuck it. i pick up item after item, throwing them, even after I hear to door creak open. "Kali. Kali!", it's his voice, Zayn's. I continue ripping posters and knocking things over when his arms wrap around me from behind, holding my arms down, "Kali!"

I struggle to get loose, "Let go! Please!" The fight just isn't worth it. "Please, please!" I stop fighting and just crumble in his arms to the floor. He keeps his arms around me as he sinks with me. "I can't take it.  I'm pathetic."

"Shhh", he rocks me back and forth. "Kali, I got you, shhh", he pulls me on his lap and I clutch to his shirt for my dear life and cry. 

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry", I mumble over and over. I don't realize why I keep telling him sorry till it hits me that it's because of how I've treated him. I finally realize I can't push him away of he cares, even though I still think he can't care. But right here and now I see he does. I wrap my arms around his neck and hold on like I'm going to lose him. 

He wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me closer. "I've got you. It's okay", he says with worry echoing his words.

He doesn't know that it's not and never will be. "No, it's not", I whisper. 

He pulls back and wipes my tears, "why is it not okay?"

"T-today is m-my dad's birthday", I stutter my way through that sentence. I take deep breathes trying to calm down. 

"Well that's nice. We can but him something", he tries being happy, not seeing there's an issue. 

I shake my head, "we can't"

"He's...he's not dead is he?", he whispers. 

"No", I shake my head. "I don't know where he is, or my mother." I really don't, the last I heard they were in a small village outside of London packing up. Who knows where they are now.