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    Seven months. It's been seven months since Sollux kicked him out. Seven months since he stormed off into the cold night, screaming over his shoulder that he hated the man. Seven months since he moved into his old apartment again. Seven months since he shut out the world. Seven months since his life fell apart.
     But that was seven months ago. Currently, Eridan was staring at the two plates of food he had set on his small table, even though he had no one to eat dinner with. Painful memories surfaced and he sank into a chair. It's been seven months and he still hasn't gotten out of the habit of making enough food for two, because a certain skinny nerd always seemed to forget to feed himself. The more Eridan tried to push the memories away, the faster they came and the more he thought about Sollux. Sollux. God, he messed up so badly. So very, very badly, and now Sollux probably hated him. Eridan couldn't blame the man. He hated himself.
     He put his face into his hands, trying to will away the tears that were threatening to fall. This was all his fault. He got worked up over nothing, and lost his boyfriend. His amazing, wonderful boyfriend was gone and probably hated him, and it was all his fault. Him and his stupid temper. It's what got him kicked out of his father's house, it's why Fef left him, and now it's why Sollux was gone. All because of his ridiculous temper.
     It hadn't been a big deal, now that he had thought about it. Sollux had been working on a project that his boss had assigned him for a few days, so all of his time was spent at his computer. Their shared room had slowly been taken up by empty chip bags and cans, and Eridan spent more nights alone in the bed than with the taller man. It wasn't a big deal. It had happened before. But this time, Eridan got mad. Furious, even. For no reason. So, after arguing for a ridiculous amount of time, Sollux had had enough and told Eridan to leave. So he did. It hadn't been that big of a deal.... right?
     The tears came, hard and fast, and soon enough his hand and cheeks were wet with them. Eridan cried, long and hard, and cursed himself for being so stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. It was all his fault. He ruined everything. He doubted that Sollux even wanted to hear his name again, he had been so awful to the man. He sobbed silently into his hands as the clock on the wall counted the seconds, then minutes that passed. Then hours. Finally, as the sun sank lower in the sky and touched the trees on the horizon, the tears stopped.
     Eridan stared blankly at the now cold food he had set out. There was no way he could eat now, especially not two plates. His appetite was gone. So he stood up slowly and scraped the food off both plates into Tupperware containers and put them into the fridge. He wiped fruitlessly at the dampness on his cheeks before dragging himself into the living room to sit on the couch. He missed Sollux so much that it physically hurt, but he couldn't call him. He couldn't even look him in the eyes. His brother constantly urged him to move on and find someone else, but how could he? He'd just mess up again. Besides, no one else really compared to Sollux Captor in his eyes.
     Speaking of Cronus, there was a sharp rap at his door. Eridan ignored it, wishing that he would just be left alone. When it sounded again, he begrudgingly got to his feet and shuffled to the door. He rested his forehead against the cool, smooth surface of the door before undoing the lock and opening the door tiredly. Much to his surprise, it wasn't his brother outside his door, but rather his ex. Eridan mouth became uncomfortably dry and his stomach tied into nervous knots. Why on earth was he here?
     "Hey, Eridan..." Sollux spoke softly and shuffled his feet, as if he were nervous. His messy hair was shoved into a dingy yellow beanie and his shoulders hunched in, making him appear smaller. More fragile. Eridan opened his mouth, but no words came out. He shut it, took a small, shaking breath, and tried again.
     "Wwhy... are you here?" The sound of his own voice made him want to curl up and die. There was so much desperation, and loneliness in his voice. He sounded so... pathetic.
     Sollux opened his mouth as if he was going to speak, then shut it again. He opened it once more, looking almost pained, and all at once he was practically exploding with words. Eridan could hardly keep up with what he was saying.
     "I know that we've been apart for theven monthth and that you thaid that you hate me, but I have to go to a family reunion nektht week and I've been putting off telling them that we aren't together and if you aren't there with me, Mituna will athk where you are and it'll break hith heart becauthe he really liked you and I don't think I could handle tho many people athking me about you, tho I know that thith ith ridiculouth and thtupid but if you could come that would be really great becauthe-" he has to stop to take a breath, and Eridans mouth opened against his will and his tongue betrayed him, speaking words he knows he will regret later on.
     "I'll go." Sollux stares up at him, just as shocked by the words as Eridan is. Mentally, Eridan screamed and kicked himself, but on the outside he mustered up a tiny, scared half smile. That was stupid. But despite knowing how much it will hurt him to go and act like a couple with Sollux, he doesn't take the words back. He knows that he's practically ripping his heart out of his chest and tearing it to pieces all over again by doing this, but he doesn't back out of it.
     "You... will?" The relief on Solluxs face is evident. "Oh, thank you, thank you tho much I could kith you!" At once, the tall male pales, realizing his mistake. A red blush is dusted across his cheeks as his trips and stumbles over broken apologies and tries to take back the words. Then he sighs and directs his eyes downwards.
     "I'm thorry. Thith wath a bad idea, and I wath thtupid to even athk... I shouldn't have bothered you." Eridans heart ached when he heard the dejected tone in Solluxs voice. He wanted to reach out, comfort him, take the tall man into his arms and spoil him until the small frown on his face became a toothy smile. But he couldn't. Instead, he opened his mouth to attempt to ease some of the sadness the other seemed to feel with words, but once more his mouth betrayed him.
    "I lovve you."

     Shit.

     Scared blue eyes met shocked brown and grey, as Eridan quickly slapped a ringed hand over his mouth. Why did he say that? Sollux didn't feel the same anymore. Sollux probably moved on. He could feel tears pricking the back of his eyes for the second time that day. This had been a joke. Sollux had made up some story to get Eridan emotional, so he could embarrass him. That's the only way it made sense to the scared man. Because Sollux had to hate him, he'd been awful to him. Awful. No one would really love him, because he was always so awful to everyone and now Sollux was getting revenge, making him suffer for being so awful, and he was crying and couldn't breathe and Sollux was staring at him, his neighbors were staring, he couldn't breathe, this was all his fault, his own fault, he deserved this-
    Warm arms wrapped around his shaking body and his face was pressed against the soft fabric of a worn out t-shirt. Long, spindly fingers ran soothingly through his hair and dry lips pressed against his forehead. Eridan felt his hand knot themselves in the shirt that he was crying into as he struggled to calm down. The arms around him tightened and he was pulled to the ground, between a pair of thin legs that were hidden by old sweatpants. A soft, ragged hum vibrated out of the chest that was pressed against his cheek and he could feel his heart rate slowly, very slowly, start to return to its normal pace. The fingers gently massaged the back of his neck as he took a deep breath. He was overwhelmed by the smell of old fabric and dust, by a strange, sharp smell he would never be able to describe perfectly, by dry leaves and the faintest hint of honey, by Sollux. He cried harder at the familiar scent and gripped at the shirt in his hands. Solluxs scent invaded his mind and he cried in relief, or perhaps sorrow, at the smell. He prayed desperately to every god he knew of that this smell wouldn't leave him. That Sollux wouldn't leave him.
     "I love you too." The hoarse words were spoken in a breathy whisper and Eridan smiled through his tears. Maybe it would be right again. Maybe they would stay together and his temper wouldn't ruin them again. But, maybe they would drift apart. Find other people and forget about each other. For now, Eridan didn't worry about the future. He only smiled and cried onto Solluxs shirt.
     He was home.