Chapter One
“Dinner’s ready !” My mom called upstairs. I opened my door, yelling back “I’m not hungry Mom, can I just finish unpacking ?” After a slight argument, she relented and let me go. I felt bad for fighting with her on our first day in a new house, but I felt worse about lying to her. The truth was, I was hungry; like, really hungry. But for some reason, lately I couldn’t bring myself to eat. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see something satisfying. I saw a tall, awkward, chubby boy in band merch and skinny jeans that he probably shouldn’t be wearing. But now that we had moved to Baltimore, I wanted to become the person I’d always wanted to be. I wanted to be skinny.
I woke up at seven o’clock the next morning, my stomach making obscene noises. It had now been two full days before I’d eaten anything, and I felt an odd sense of pride in myself. This was the new Jack, the Jack who could- no, who WOULD, get what he wanted. I knew I would have to eat before school though, otherwise I wouldn’t make it through the day without passing out. Luckily, my parents were already at work, so I was able to get away with just a granola bar. It felt wrong to be eating, but it felt right for it to feel wrong. Eating was now my enemy, the only thing preventing me from becoming who I wanted to be, one pound at a time.
I started the walk to Dulaney High, my new school. I had to sell my car when we moved, but luckily the school wasn’t too far away. It was the middle of the first semester, early October. I worried about making friends and fitting in, but hopefully I wouldn’t have too much trouble. The problem was, I didn’t fit in anywhere- I wasn’t a jock, I wasn’t a gamer, I wasn’t super-smart, I wasn’t a random popular kid…I was just me. And sometimes, just being you in high school really sucks.
I reached the school and headed for the office to pick up my schedule. Another boy about my age stood in front of me, the only other student in the office. The secretary saw me and waved me over, “Aren’t you new here too, dear ?” I nodded, and she asked for my name. “Um, Jack Barakat.” The kindly lady motioned to the boy beside me, “Well Jack, this is Alex Gaskarth. He’s new here too, and I think you two will get along great.” I side glanced at the boy, who shrugged. I was caught off guard by this Alex because, well, he was cute.
I hadn’t really given much thought to my sexual orientation before this, as I had no prior dating experience. Probably because I was so fat and disgusting…I had always had a degree of self-hatred for myself, but lately it had been getting worse. My few friends, my workaholic parents, and now the move hadn’t exactly been helping. The secretary lady (Ms. Porter) handed Alex and I our schedules and sent us on our way.
Once outside the office, we compared schedules and made small talk, trying to figure out our classes together. Alex looked up from where he was staring intently at both of our papers with a crooked grin. “We have three out of five classes together.” “Great !” I said, relieved. Now I would know someone in most of my classes. I headed to first hour alone, with promises to meet my new friend outside our second hour afterward.
I sat by a quiet kid named Zack in first hour English, but he seemed pretty cool. He complemented my Green Day shirt, so that was a big plus. I just worried he was staring at my fat stomach while he said it, because Zack was really muscular. I found myself thinking about Alex a lot that hour, and I didn’t know what to think. He was nice, maybe a little shy, but definitely someone I could see myself being friends with. So why was I thinking about how cute he was more often than how nice ?
Alex sat in the row next to me and a few seats behind me in second hour, next to me in third hour, and way across the room in fifth hour. But in the short time I’d known him, we had some good chats- making fun of the new teachers, talking a little about music, and about being the new kid . We ended up having to share a locker because of lack of space, and both of us arriving so late in the year. Not that I minded.
After fifth hour, we hovered around our locker, trying to get all of our books to fit and making small talk. “So, where do you live ?” Alex questioned me. “Thames Street,” I told him, glad I even remembered the name. He turned around quickly, “No shit ! I live down the block from you then !” I chuckled, but inside my stomach was fluttering, and not from lack of food. All of this couldn’t just be pure coincidence, fate had to have intervened to bring this boy into my life. But why ?
I cleared my throat awkwardly, shutting the locker. “Um, we could walk home together if you want, since we live close…?” My statement sounded more like a question, and I cringed at my awkwardness. Why was I acting so weird ? Alex probably isn’t even gay….hell, I don’t know if I’m even gay. It’s normal to think a guy is cute and want to be friends with him…right ?
***This is my first Jalex fic, so I'm not sure how it's going to turn out. I know it's a little cliche, but I hope it isn't too bad. Comment and subscribe please ?
