Chapter Five
By Friday, my non-eating habits have gotten me worn out. I have no energy and no motivation to do anything…except see Alex. We have yet to hang out again since Monday, but we still text every day. Tonight I had plans with that kid from my English class though. As usual, my parents wouldn’t be home until late, so Zack and I were just gonna be dudes- lay around, be loud, play video games, and order a pizza. I hadn’t worked out exactly how I was going to avoid eating said pizza, but I would cross that bridge when I came to it.
Zack met me at my locker after school to walk home with me, prompting a weird look from Alex. It was almost a glare as he looked from the buff boy to me, as if he were mad about something…. “Who’s this ?” He asked in a weird tone. “My friend Zack, he’s coming over today, we’re walking home so I won’t need a ride. Zack, this is my locker partner Alex,” I replied. I instantly felt bad that I had referred to Alex simply as my locker partner instead of my friend. I felt even worse when I saw the hurt in his eyes when he caught that too. I clapped him on the shoulder and said goodbye, eager to get out of the awkward situation.
I had grown to like this Zack kid, but I had to admit he was no Alex. No one could compare to him already, even though we had just met.
I couldn’t get the pained look in Alex’s eyes out of my head, and I wondered if I should text him and apologize. I meant to, but I got caught up in playing video games with Zack, and promptly forgot all about it.
Once we realized that the lack of snack food in my house was appalling, Zack and I decided to walk down to the corner store to pick up some munchies. It just so happened that we would have to walk right past a certain honey-haired boy’s house to get there. I purposely crossed the street right in front of my house so that we would be walking directly in front of Alex’s on the way there. I glanced at his house casually as we passed, but I saw no movement inside, much to my disappointment. I had to remind myself that right now I was with ZACK, and to focus on him instead of the gorgeous, amazing- I stopped my thoughts right there, mentally smacking myself. Alex is just another guy, I told myself.
Fifteen minutes later, we made our way back to my place with arms full of snacks. Two houses away from Alex’s, I saw the boy himself emerge from inside his home. But he wasn’t alone- he was accompanied by a buff-but-not-buffer-than-Zack boy with a haircut that made his head resemble a potato. But he wasn’t bad looking, that was the problem. Did Alex have a boyfriend ?
Unexpected rage bubbled up inside me, along with something along the lines of jealousy. Is this how Alex felt when I went home with Zack ? Because this felt terrible, almost like Alex was cheating on me…but we weren’t even together, so why did it matter so much to me ?
“Hey Rian !” Zack called, waving to potato boy. He turned to me, “Hey, isn’t that your friend Alex ?” I nodded, speechless as Zack and Rian walked up to one another. Alex followed behind, his expression oddly smug. He looked as if he was watching me carefully, waiting for a reaction. I tried to keep my composure and act as if nothing was wrong. I moved aside from Rian and Zack’s animated conversation and stood next to Alex. I couldn’t help but hiss, “So, got a boyfriend now, do you ?” He looked at me with the same angry expression I held, “Nope, I’M not the one with the boyfriend.” I looked at him, shocked- he sounded as jealous and upset as I was; had he been thinking the same thing about Zack and I ? “Zack is NOT my boyfriend,” I informed him, glancing at him and Rian. “But it looks like he is Rian’s” I giggled. Alex followed my gaze, chuckling too. “Yeah, I see it.”
The guys and I ended up agreeing to all go back to my house- hell, we had definitely bought enough snacks, especially since I refused to eat them. Unfortunately, the absence of my hand from the snack bowl didn’t go unnoticed- “What are you, on a diet or something ?” They teased. “Something like that,” I muttered back. “Actually, I’m saving all the room for the pizza,” I piped up, because now I had a plan.
An hour later, after three slices of pepperoni pizza and two glasses of pop, I stood up. “I gotta pee, dudes.” I casually made my way to the upstairs bathroom, watching and listening to make sure no one followed. I knelt in front of the toilet once again, something that was beginning to feel all too familiar. I had promised myself that last time was the last time, but what choice did I have ?
I purged quickly and cleaned myself up, exiting into the hallway leading to the stairwell. I started making my way downstairs when a hand grabbed my shoulder, “Hey.” I jumped, “Alex ! How long have you been standing there ?” I panicked, what if he had heard me ? Was he about to confront me ? He held a finger to his lips. “What are you doing up here ?” I whispered. “It was getting a little…steamy down there. I figured I’d leave those two alone.” We crept to the top of the stairs, watching where Rian and Zack sat facing each other. As we stared, Rian slowly leaned in and kissed Zack. “Awww !” Alex started to coo, but I placed a hand over his mouth to silence him- I didn’t want to embarrass the guys. His warm breath on my hand made me squirm, and I imagined him leaning in and kissing me like that. I sighed, and we entered the living room like nothing had happened.
I worried that somehow Alex had heard me when he came up the stairs, but wouldn’t he have said something ? I calculated it in my mind, and decided he must have come up when I was washing my hands. No harm there, I was safe.
My parents called around eight, to tell me that they were both picking up a night shift. The good part was, through their guilt, I convinced them to let the guys stay the night. And so the party continued.
