[Hoseok's POV]
I feel numb. I can't remember what happened or how I got here. All I can feel is my eyes burning and even though I feel drained, I've never been more awake.
Turning to my other side I can smell a very familiar scent. One that I loved, one that I still love but feel like it's been slowly getting away from me.
The scent of a boy I love so dearly. The scent of a boy who loves someone else. As the vague memories of last night start to return, my head feels like it's about to burst. This being partially from the alcohol that now flows through my veins, but mostly from the image that keeps repeating itself in my head. The image of him kissing someone. Someone who is not me...
I can't get this picture out of my mind and every time I feel like I'm losing a piece of myself that I will never get back.
Of course he doesn't know how I feel about him. I never told him because I didn't want things to get awkward between us if he didn't feel the same way. Thinking about it now, I should've just told him the truth. That would've spared me this dreadful feeling of something I've never felt before and something I never want to feel again.
Because if this is what love feels like, I'd rather not feel anything ever again.
After almost an hour of just lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling I decide that I should get up, take a shower and clear my mind. Doing so I suddenly remember that I have a roommate. The one person I don't want to see right now, the one I love. Jimin.
But walking around our apartment, I don't think he's here, yet. He's probably still with the little brat who caused me to feel so miserable: Jungkook.
I can't believe he did what he did since he was one of the few people who knew how I felt about Jimin. Him and Taehyung, my best friend. I should tell him what happened, he'll know just what to say.
Walking across the hall to where Tae's room is, which he shares with Jin, his boyfriend, I couldn't get there fast enough because in the distance I can vaguely hear the 2 familiar voices that I would want to avoid at any rate. Knocking repeatedly on Tae's door, he finally opens the door and I storm in. I just sit on his bed for a while and he's just looking at me.
After a couple minutes of silence, I open my mouth to speak but he beats me to it saying: "I know.".
That's all he says. But it's enough to break the wall that I was keeping up and make me burst into tears then and there. He hugs me tightly trying to comfort me and I slowly start to catch my breath as I look up to him with a desperate look on my face.
We just sit there in an embrace for a while and even tho Tae is with Jin, who is also in the room by the way, Jin doesn't mind us hugging. He knows how close we are and he's never made an issue out of it. Judging by the look on his face I figure Tae told him what happened and they were expecting me to come over at some point which was fine by me, I trust Jin.
My mind has come to rest while just being in Tae and Jin's presence, they've always had a really soothing atmosphere whenever I was around feeling down.
After a while we hear the door from mine and Jimin's apartment open and once again both his and Jungkook's voice. The walls are really thin so we could hear exactly what they were saying.
"I really enjoyed last night." Jungkook said and with that I felt my stomach turning. It took a while for Jimin to respond and all he said was a hesitant "yeah, me too..." which gave me a spark of hope that maybe he didn't enjoy it as much as Jungkook. But that glimmer of hope was soon shattered by the "Thank you" that followed and the sound of lips smacking. Once again Tae pressed me close to him as he covered my ears because he knew how much I was hurting.
I didn't ever want to leave the comfort and security that Tae gave me but I knew that sooner or later I would have to go back to my own place and be confronted with my worst fear: realising that I had lost Jimin.
Pulling myself together and getting up to go back to my place Tae said: "Remember how much you love him Jung Hoseok, don't shut him out..." He said this because he knew that that was exactly what I was going to do.
Just as I was about to open the door to my apartment I got a text from Jimin asking me where I was and that he wanted to talk about something.
Immediately I turned around and walked out the apartment building to get some fresh air because I knew I wasn't ready for what was going to happen. I walked and walked but I had no idea where I was going.
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