ROOFTOP - finnick odair

chapter one

"falling from high buildings til she
was numb to the feeling really
she would never be quite
what she seemed."

~

Caterina's POV:

I stare out into the endless swirls of extravagant stairs and grand hallways as I ride up the elevator to the six hundredth millionth floor of my new home... home. Even the thought of that makes my stomach turn and an unsettling taste sets in my mouth.

"Caterina, pick up the pace. Ruby and Ivory are dying to see you."

Winter pulls me by the arm out of the elevator. I let my feet trudge slowly, dragging my body across the hallway, as I do the opposite of what she tells me to do.

"Why are you so miserable?" she suddenly asks.

"I'm not," I answer. "I'm actually completely ecstatic to be here right now. Can't you tell?" I pull the sleeve of my shirt and wrap it around my neck, making choking sounds. Winter rolls her eyes and mutters something, making me smirk in triumph.

"What is this all about? You leaving your family?"

"I wonder."

"They will be fine without you. They're safe."

"Thanks, Winter. I so need comforting from you, the woman who sides with the man who completely ruined my life."

"I never said that I side with him."

"Well, you're not doing shit to say otherwise. And you never even told me why I'm here instead of the Victor's Village."

"I told you — I can't tell you. Now, take a deep breath and soak in all the glory. You just won the Hunger Games, Caterina. Where's that beautiful smile of yours?"

Her words echo around me, surrounding me; suffocating me. And I realize that it's gone, I would think. Buried deep beneath everything else that I repressed — if not, even deeper. I'm not sure if it will ever come out again.

She pauses momentarily, then takes a deep breath and sighs optimistically. "Well, I hope to see it soon."

"Don't hold your breath," I call out after her after she begins walking.

We reach our destination when she knocks three times on a technological-powered door, gold numbers carved out in it, a digital whir coming from the sides. It's nothing like what I'm used to from at home. I'm not sure if I like it or not.

Ruby and Ivory stand behind the door as it slides open and nearly collapse with joy, just like Winter said they would. Before they can reach me I slip away politely and lock myself in the bathroom, pressing my back against the door and shutting my eyes. When they open, my reflection greets me in an unfriendly manner. I stare hard at it before turning away so I don't have to look at myself anymore.

Everybody always tells me to embrace my natural beauty, how I'm so lucky to have my dark blue eyes, my olive skin, my long hair that probably still has blood between the brown locks of it. Once upon a time, I was confident and I did love myself. But that was a lifetime ago.

"Cat! We're about to eat!" Ruby yells from outside, giving a knock on the door before walking away. I glance at my reflection once more before leaving the bathroom and walking back to the kitchen.