ROOFTOP - finnick odair

chapter twenty four

"we'll never know
when we'll run out of time
so i'm gonna love you
like i'm gonna lose you."

~

Caterina's POV:

I sit alone on my bed, not bothered to eat anything that Isabelle gave me. I fiddle with my fork before I give up and set my plate aside.

The pain of just not knowing is excruciating. The pain of knowing that the Capitol has reached inside of my brain and messed around with the memories I have of people that once meant the world to me is unbearable. And I still don't understand how all of those memories can be gone. Every single thought about him, every single trace of his touch, every one of his kisses and hugs and things said to me, just completely gone. I want to remember; I want to remember how it felt to kiss him and how it felt so hold him. But no matter how hard I try, I can't. I feel tears forming in my eyes.

Someone sits down in front of me. My head snaps up to see who it is, and I breathe a sigh of relief when I see Johanna.

"How are you?" she asks, reaching over and grabbing the burnt piece of bread on my plate.

I quickly wipe the tears away and clear my throat. "Fine," I answer. Not because I am, but because that's the answer I've forced myself to use every time someone asks me that question.

"And Finnick?" she asks, picking off pieces of the bread and eating them.

"What about him?" I ask, my voice shaky. I think I sound calm, but really, I just want to scream.

"How are you two? Have you talked yet?"

"We talked earlier today. But I just- I still can't seem to wrap my head around everything. And I feel horrible doing this to him because I can't imagine what it's like to have someone you love not even recognize your face anymore. But he seems to understand," I say. Johanna nods.

"He's good at that. Or at least, that's what you've told me."

"What do you mean?"

Johanna shrugs as she takes the other roll of bread off my plate and stands up. "You told me you loved him so much because he understood you. So much, actually, to the point where he knew you better than anyone else."

She walks out, and Finnick comes and takes her place. He sits down hesitantly, as if he's worried that he's not being gentle enough.

"Hey," he says gently.

"Hi," I answer, looking down.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asks, his eyes trying to meet mine. When I finally give in, the words in my mouth aren't coming out. His eyes have trapped me in a world that doesn't even exist, and I can't seem to tear my gaze away.

There's no way I could've forgotten these eyes.

He calls my name, and I shift back to reality. "Uh, yeah," I quickly answer.

The silence becomes too intense; too awkward. I finally look up and smile.

"Can you tell me your story?"

"My story? Okay, I guess."

"Start from the beginning. I need to know who you are."

He looks at me, as if he doesn't actually believe that I want to know. I cross my arms and shift my body so I'm more comfortable. He smiles.

"Okay. I'm from District Four. I was fourteen when I won my Games. My parents were killed by Snow the same way yours were."