control ;; phan

glimpse

-dan's pov-
~*~
despite the fact
that it was so
late at night,
and the sky
had opened up
to allow a waterfall
of rain to pour down,
i ran.
not bothering to
check anything
before i left,
i just ran.
my heart pounded
in my chest,
a feeling of dread
overwhelmed me.
phil couldn't be at
the bridge.
not again.
turning street corners,
i could feel my knees
growing weak
beneath me;
about to collapse
at any moment.
what was phil
thinking?
this was so unlike him.
memories of his crooked,
yet perfect smile, and
his soft chuckles
flooded into my mind.
he had been so happy.
before that night,
he'd been happy.
we'd talk,
laugh,
smile...
we'd be happy.
how could i have let his
smile fade?
how could i have just left
him with that monster?
for that very reason,
maybe i was the monster.
it must be my fault.
it was me who left
him alone;
it was me who didn't
fight for him;
it was me who didn't
stop pj when i could have;
it was me that was the cause
of phil being at the bridge.
as i continued to run,
neon lights illuminated
the path; allowing me
to see despite the
veil of darkness which
the city was currently
cloaked in.
i ignored the aches
all across my body
as i picked up my pace,
determined to make it
to phil.
almost there.
i could remember the route
too well.
every turn i took was
identical to the last time.
tears had begun to flow
down my cheeks,
obscuring my vision as
i neared the old, wooden
bridge above the falls just
outside the city, where
the bustling life fizzled out
and a sense of tranquility
was all that could be
detected.
disregarding anyone else,
i cried out for the
silhouette upon the edge
of the bridge.
his head turned to face me
and, in the moonlight,
i caught the glimpse of
terror in his eyes.
i cried out again,
calling his name over
and over as i approached
his position on the edge.
phil stared as i clung to
him, pulling him over to
the safe side of the bridge.
his skin was as cold as his
eyes, and i almost flinched
as i touched it.
the rain dropped steadily
from his fringe onto his face,
masking the tears which
were mapped upon his cheeks
like constellations in the night
sky.
"wh- what are you doing out
here?" i held him close to
my chest, attempting to heat
him up.
the blue-eyed boy before me
remained silent for a moment,
holding onto me as if his life
depended on it.
and then, as the dark clouds
above blocked out the moon,
plunging the world into
darkness, he spoke; his words
as raindrops continued to
fall from the sky.
"i'm sorry."

-
A/N: I apologise if this doesn't make sense, it's like 1:30am or something and I'm v v tired. (ps goodnight x)