control ;; phan

smile

-phil's pov-
~*~
"make it stop, dan.
let it end."
i stared at him through
weary eyes, my hands
bringing the steaming
mug of coffee to my
lips.
"l- let what end?"
i could tell from
his grim expression
that he expected the worst.
my life.
let my life end.
upon looking into his
eyes, something happened
inside of me - stopping my
mouth from uttering those
words.
his chocolate-brown eyes
which had once been so
warm and inviting,
looked cold and tired.
had i been the cause of this?
"i- i just want things to go
back to normal, dan,"
voice cracking as i spoke,
signalling the next wave of
tears.
dan seemed to realise this
and held out his hand
for me to take hold of it.
i did so without hesitation.
"phil," he said, his fingers
squeezed my own.
"i promise you, phil. i will
never let anything else happen
to you as long as i live.
i swear, phil."
dimples appeared on his face
as he gave me a reassuring smile,
the crinkles by his eyes
proving it was genuine.
i could always tell dan's real
smile from his fake one.
with his real smile,
his eyes would almost light
up and the crinkles by his
eyes would form,
almost like the laughter lines
upon his cheeks.
the thought of all of dan's
smiles made me chuckle,
the memories bringing
a smile to my very own face.
being with dan reminded
me what it was to be happy;
to be okay.
it was at this moment, though,
with my hand in his that i
came to realise something.
something incredible;
impossible;
amazing.
i was falling deeply,
and madly in love
with daniel james howell,
and there was no way
on this earth that i
was going to change
that.