Diary of an African child in Africa!

Visitors

Have you ever been so so happy you just feel like running like a gazelle in the African Savannah? Lol no? Well I have! Last week, when my cousin (the one I told you about last week) finally left!

The silver lining to her visit was that she inspired me to write this chapter so big ups to you Gracie! \(^-^)/

****************************
There's no way to sugar coat it, so I won't even try. Having visitors at my home is hell! Well for me anyway.

You may think I'm exaggerating because it's cool to have people over yeah? It always starts well. There's a cool vibe in the air. The mantra is eat-drink-be merry while you share jokes and have those 'Remember when..' moments that have you laughing so hard you can't breathe like "What is air?" I mean the most wasted of all days is one without laughter right? So having people over must be a great idea right?

Yeah, well. No. You see with African visitors it never starts well. Lol never.

There's no such thing as simple happy beginnings. You can mess everything up just by greeting your visitors the wrong way.

Greetings are the most prominent symbols of respect to Africans. You will be severely chastised if you do not greet properly. It can not be replaced with anything!

Lol I remember when I brought my friend Sanya home after school. She's Australian and this was her first time meeting my fam. So I'm a little nervous, I never liked bringing friends over because my family's well.. unpredictable.

*For those who don't know my mum and I share the same name, we're both Elizabeth*

So when Sanya sees my mum all she says is, "Hi Elizabeth" with a huge smile because she thinks its so cool that we share the same name. I just looked at her like, "Do you not fear God?" lol never in my life on this earth have I ever heard anybody call my mum by her first name! Never!

I was shitting bricks I thought Sanya would be the reason my mum would end up in prison or something. But to my surprise my mum played it cool and made her feel at home. But as soon as Sanya left though my mum looked at me like I had committed sacrilege and told me Sanya was not allowed to visit anymore because she doesn't know how to greet people properly.

When you get past the greeting (which is basically a curtsey and you addressing them as Auntie/Uncle) you have the 'small talk' before you're dismissed. I never get dismissed though I always just stand there like a maid with my hands to my side because I have to be at my mother's beck and call.

The small talk usually consists of the same questions.

"How is school?"

"Are you passing number one?"
I've learnt to just say yes to dead the issue because if you say no they start telling you their life story. Or compare you to David who is studying Chemical engineering and how I must emulate him. Like, who is David?!
-_- (Africans will compare you to everyone and anyone).

"Why are you so thin?", "Are you on a diet?", "You should come home for at least three months and you'll leave looking like a true African woman." -_-
It's a heinous crime to be thin in my family. Sigh.

And then they start talking in their native language like I understand. When you look at them clueless they either laugh at you or give you a lecture. I blame my parents for not teaching me.

Lol still think having guests is no pressure?

The clean up after the visitors leave is a bittersweet moment for me. I grew up with 2 brothers and we had a rule 'Last person to finish eating washes the dishes.'

So I'd eat like really fast but not in a sloppy way lol because I hate washing the dishes. But if I lost I'd make sure I'd leave food in a lot of the pots so I wouldn't have to clean them or leave the really dirty ones under the sink for someone else to clean later! :}

I'm the kind of person that likes to see silver lining in every situation and I can come up with 2 to all of this.

1. You learn how to read body language perfectly!
Lol most of the times when your parents are with guests they don't want to scold you or yell at you in front of them they have theyre 'nice voice' on and they dont want you to ruin anything! So they give you signs with they're facial expressions/ body language when they're mad so you know when to shut up or do something.

2. I am a master in getting a job done in the shortest time available.
Our house is free for all(except Sanya lol) so we rarely get an advanced notice from visitors or they'd call when theyre like 5 minutes away. Our house is always clean but somehow when my mum gets that's call she can think of 101 things for me to dust/sweep/mop/wipe/put away, in 5 minutes!

*****************************

Hey guys! Thanks for reading and showing your support it doesn't go unappreciated ♡

Don't forget to comment your experiences I love to hear your stories and know that you can relate !

Please vote to keep me motivated!!
And share so others can see this!

Feel free to send ideas for future chapters :-*