Diary of an African child in Africa!

Dating

Shoutout to @deniseSOS for requesting this chapter! \(^.^)/

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Lol I have exes whose eyes I will avoid if am like really unlucky enough to be in the same room as them for five minutes! But I have never had a boyfriend.

I call them exes because our relationships were just titled. I've never had a traditional boyfriend who takes you out and you do regular boyfriend-girlfriend activities with that person.

Lol don't feel sorry for me though. I could totally get one! *hair flick* lol you know how it is. It's just that having a boyfriend and growing up with strict African parents is a lot of work!

Before I wrote this chapter I went to talk to my mum to bounce some ideas off her. I've never really asked her if I could go out on a date. Growing up it was always don't let a boy touch you or you'll get pregnant and bring shame on the family! But I decided to give it a shot this time!

I went to her thinking that she'd use this line that she always uses to "dismiss me" whenever I ask her something stupid!

It's in our native language. Tumpi lakutali. I probably didn't spell it right. When you translate it directly to English it sounds kinda lame - Go and be stupid far away.

She didn't say that though! And I was really surprised! She said something new. I dont know how to type this one! She said it so fast and it was really long and complicated but in English it means: Go ahead and have so much fun it'll spill out of your nose!

Lol I felt like the gates of heaven had opened up and a choir of angles lifted me up and brought me to paradise!

So I've come up with a couple of things to expect if someone was to date me, for real.

1. Expect Cancelled Plans!
Even if you planned out our entire date 3 months ago and submitted a detailed itinerary for our date, there's still a possibility that your application will be rejected by my parents lol. Especially if there's a family gathering that comes up from nowhere! Family comes first to my parents so if there's a family gathering then our date is doomed! No doubt about it. You can come though! Hehehe all your actions will be severely scrutinized but it's something we can laugh about later =)

2. Always be on time.
Timing is very important to my parents. Even though they don't keep it sometimes #ColouredPeopleTime. They don't want you to be the cause of my sleep deprivation. And it'll score you good points if you take this seriously! I can imagine my dad waiting on the porch with a sjambok if my date ever thought of bringing me home late. This is just a visual representation of how mad my dad will be, you get the picture right?

Significant other: What about driving out in the middle of the night to look at the stars with our fingers intertwined?

Me: Lmfao!

This brings me to ..

3. Staying in is better than going out
To my parents of course though, they love to be in control of things and they'll feel a lot better if they knew what I was doing and where I'll be. I need someone to break me free from this parental oppression though! Lol but they'd love it and it'll boost my parents' trust in you and know that you have good intentions.

Mum:Its not like you have anything to hide right?

4. You won't get to see me everyday!
Me having a boyfriend would be bad enough for my parents. They probably wouldn't even acknowledge you as my boyfriend lol they'd just label you as one of my friends! And because they'd hate it so much they wouldn't want me to see you everyday and see my world revolve around you alone. I'll have to have time for other things like studying really hard to be a doctor or chemical engineer! They'll love you so much if you have similar life goals!

And lastly...

5. I'll have high expectations of you.
It's only fair that you be the perfect gentleman after all my efforts to get you acquainted with my family. It'll probably take me infinite hours of preparation and of course constant praying and fasting to sum up the courage to tell them about you. So I expect the whole enchilada from you. Open doors for me, pull out chairs for me, tell me I'm beautiful, be there for me when I need you to be, be the light in my life, the sun in my day, the stars in my night, the aahh in my Pepsi! Lmao okay I ruined it!

Thats all I could think of for now.

Lol to all the guys reading this. I know dating a girl with strict African parents can be difficult and stressful.. or a nightmare! But the hardest girls are usually the keepers and it'll all be worth it.

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Heyy guys so 5 Chapters in.. how are you liking my bold swing at being funny? Lol

Thanks for the support keep voting and commenting!

Remember tell a friend, cousin, grandma, ex, mum and dad lol everybody! Help me share this book pplleeaassee ♡

Don't feel shy to dm me lol don't be a stranger! Tell me about the crazy things your parents tell you in their native language, I love to hear all your stories and even your requests for future chapters :)

Thank you x