Society Killed the Girl

Dad's

semi edited. (:   ENJOY! :D 

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Chapter 18

          I don’t know how many people have come up to me today saying “sorry for your loss.” I lost track over an hour ago.  I don’t know how many times Alec has squeezed my hand, kissed my forehead and whispered everything is going to be okay to me either.

          I can’t remember the last time all of my family has been together in one area before. Maybe my damned Uncles funeral? Well, it’s been a long time. Eleven years most likely.

          Most of my family would give me a sad smile or a quick hug. They all knew I was the one struggling the most. But two people were still missing. The two people who should have been in the front row.

          My parents.

          When my mother found out about the accident she laughed, she actually laughed followed with a “good ridden’s.” I’ve never hated her more than right now. If it wasn’t for her Lilly might still be here…

          What am I kidding?

Im the one who did this to Lilly. I’m the one who killed her. I was driving the car, I was the one who had an Epilepsy attack and made us fall off a cliff. It was all my fault.

          I guess, in a way I died at the crash too; alongside Lilly. In truth, a part of me did die. I could feel it. I wasn’t the same girl I was two weeks ago. All and every wall that I let down had been built back up again; ten times thicker.

          I even shut Alec out. Since the accident I’ve barely said more than ten words. Even if I did talk there wasn’t anything to say. Plus, this way I didn’t have to worry about blowing up, which I’ve been wanting to since I woke up. I wanted to break down, I wanted to crawl under a rock and just lie there…. Forever.

          Yet here I am hearing meaningless “I’m sorry’s” and “I’ll be here for you if you need me’s.” They didn’t really care. After this they’ll all go home and smile again. They’ll all be happy again.

          At the rate I was going I don’t think I would ever be able to smile or be happy again… I felt completely and utterly empty.  Even if I could feel I wouldn’t want to because I know exactly what I would be feeling.

Grief.

Guilt.

Sadness.

Hatred.

I would be feeling all the feelings that would just tear me down even more in the end. I couldn’t afford to break anymore, well, I was completely shattered already but if even one more part of me broke I would be nothing.

I smiled pathetically at the last of people that gave their regrets. Now everyone but Cassidy and me were seated in the pews. I noticed someone walk in but didn’t pay any attention to them. That is until Cassidy’s head shot up and her eyes grew three sizes.

“Ever.” She whispered not taking her eyes off the man standing in the back with his head hung low. I glanced towards her and what came out of her mouth stunned me even more than I already was, “that’s my dad. My real Dad. Conner Marrow.”

Why would he be here?

Cassidy scampered her way over to Conner, making sure not to disturb anyone on her way. When she stopped in front of him I watched as he lifted his head. His eyes filled with tears. As soon as he realized who was before him he began to shake and cry.

Cassidy instantly wrapped herself in his arms, crying even harder than he was. They stayed like that for minutes, not letting each other go once. But when they did pull away I saw something flash in Conner’s eyes. An emotion that I didn’t have a slightest clue what it could be.

Things around here were beginning to get strange. Nothing is how it’s supposed to be, everything is all screwed up. Between Alec, Logan, Lulu and Jordan, Cassidy, Chelsea, Conner and Lilly everything was just so messed up I wasn’t sure if I could hold any of this in.

“Ever” A small voice called out, I looked up and Lu. That was my breaking point. All of the emotions I wasn’t feeling washed up like a tidal wave. I through myself at her sobbing into her shoulder. She didn’t dare say a word, she knew that nothing she could ever say would help. Instead she wrapped her small arms around me tightly.

What else could she have done? She knew how much Lilly meant to me, she knew that she was the one holding the other end of a very flimsy piece of thread that was holding me together.

“You’re going to be okay, Ever. I promise. Everything will get better…” She whispered after many silent minutes. I just pray to God she’s right. I don’t know how much more pain and tragedy I could take….

After the funeral Lulu drove me back to my house. It was the last place I wanted to be but I needed my cloths since Lu told me I could crash at her place until I raised enough money to get my own place.

When we pulled up to my house I noticed two different car’s parked in the driveway that didn’t belong to anyone I knew. “Who’s at your house?” She questioned stopping the car.

“I – I don’t know. Probably family.” I guessed walking towards the door. Lu followed close behind, almost more ankuses than me to see who was there. I on the other hand could care less who was there. All I was doing was silently getting my clothes and leaving the forsaken house forever.

But who I saw standing at the kitchen table with my very sober, crying mother shocked me to the point where I forgot how to breathe for a minute. I even had to do a double take just in case my eyes were deceiving me. Because there before my eyes was the one person I never thought I’d see again.

“Dad?” 

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how many of you saw this coming???? xD