Insecurities (A OneDirection/Ziall Fanfic)

Insecurities [9]

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I need to know now, know now. Can you love me again? -John Newman. Love me again

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Dedicated to MorganRB for her Shadowhunter story. TMI ALL THE WAY!

Niall stood at the foot of Zayn’s bed in a red V-neck shirt. He bolted from the bed over to his best friend with his arms open, ready to crush Niall in a hug. But the blonde boy refused and pushed the tanned boy away from him. “This is your fault”

“What?” Zayn squeaked, now standing opposite from the Irish boy.

“The reason I am like this” Niall gestured to his body, his accent thicker from the sleep in his voice “It’s your fault”

“Niall” The older boy began

“No Zayn!” Although Niall was younger he was taking control “This. Everything is your fault”

“But Ni-” He began but was cut off by Niall’s voice

“Don’t make this harder than it is” He snapped

“Make what harder?” Zayn questioned “Ni you aren’t making any sense” trying to reason with the blonde in front of him

“I love you” A tear escaped the pale boys shimmering eye as he spoke to what he thought to be his ‘soul mate’

“I love you too” Zayn smiled “Please just come back to me” he began to plea with the boy he fell for. The boy he had fallen hard for.

“I can’t” Niall whispered, his voice sounding almost broken

“Why Ni? I love you I want to be with you” Zayn went back to pleading “Don’t you dare leave me” realisation hit him and his voice raised a little as he spoke.

“You left me when I needed you Zayn” Tears continued to fall from his sapphire coloured eyes, Zayn wanted to take him in his arms and fix everything but he knew that Niall can be stubborn and wouldn’t accept the gesture and simply push him away again. And he couldn’t handle being pushed away again.

“No! No Niall I didn’t! I am here! I am waiting for you” Zayn joined Niall with the tears falling from his eyes.

“Don’t wait for me” Niall’s monotone voice spoke through the silence of the room.

“But-”

“Just admit it Zayn! You want me to go!”

“I don’t Niall I LOVE YOU” Zayn emphasised the fact he loved him but Niall couldn’t bring himself to see the truth in Zayn’s even though it was all there. Every feeling Zayn had for the Irish boy lay on the table waiting to be picked up and held close to his heart. “You have my heart kid” Zayn chuckled slightly “You have had for so much longer than you realise, keep it safe and I will be safe” A small smile crept onto the blondes face as he finally saw the honest in his eyes.

“I thought you didn’t want me” Niall muttered in a relieved tone

“I no longer simply want you Niall” His eyes met Zayn’s as he waited for him to continue “I need you now”

Zayn stares at Niall with complete affection covering his face, wrapping his arms around his back and pulling his body securely into his own figure and leans in to the Irish boy. Foreheads resting on each other’s and both of their breathing uneven as they stare into each other’s eyes with love and passion. Zayn captures his lips with Niall’s, tugging on his bottom lip. Niall gently began pushing Zayn backwards with his hands firmly on his toned and tanned chest. Zayn moves back until he comes into contact with the bed and both fall onto the comfort of the pure white sheets. The kiss isn’t broke as they fall to the mattress. Eventually the two pull apart for much needed oxygen, the blonde takes no time in moving up to the older boys ear and whispering “I love you Zayn Malik” before nibbling on his ear, eliciting a barely audible moan tangled with his name from him. A small crimson blush begins to rise onto his cheeks at the thought he had just made the boy under him moan his name. This doesn’t go unnoticed from Zayn he looks up to meet the shimmering blue eyes he loved so much “I love you too Niall James Horan” Niall chuckled “It’s weird when I use your full name. Isn’t it?” “Little bit” Before Zayn has time to react the blonde Irish boy is ripped from his grasp and slammed into the wall, Niall lets out a whimper of pain.

“NIALL” Zayn cried but was held back by a force that he couldn’t overcome. Niall’s eyes looked up to meet Zayn’s, the normal glimmering blue replaced with black filled eyes, no innocent colour that was there, this eyes Zayn had fallen in love with. His usual happy wide smile turned into a sly sadistic smirk as he watched Zayn held back by the force of nightmares.

“You did this to me” Niall bellowed at his lover.

“Niall” Zayn screamed at the blonde boy. He watched as Niall’s head flew back in agony and an ear piercing scream echoed through the room. Long thin cuts began to work vertically up Niall’s left arm, drawing blood. Zayn’s breathing picked up as he watched the blood draw from Niall’s arms and trickle down and slowly begin to form a pool of blood around his limp body. Whimpers continued to come from Niall as soreness and throbbing took over his body and seeped into his veins.

“NIALL” Zayn screeched “STOP IT” he began to cry uncontrollably as he watched the boy he love slowly slip away from him again.

“THIS IS YOUR FAULT” Niall snapped then his eyes rolled back like they did in the hospital and the room fell silent.

“Zayn” A distant voice spoke and it echoed around the room

“Zayn wake up” the voice got louder until it was a loud noise in his ear

Zayn’s eyes shot open and his body jolted up right to come face to face with a scared looking Harry. A thick layer of sweat lacing on his forehead and bear chest.

His breathing heavy as he came to the realisation it was just a dream.

“H-Harry?” Zayn stuttered as he wondered why the curly haired boy was lying beside him in Niall’s bed.

“You were having a nightmare Zayn” Harry whispered as he fumbled with his hands in his lap.

“It was a beautiful nightmare Haz” Zayn whispered, running his hand through Harry’s messy curls.

“W-what happened?”

"I saw the beautiful Irish face I long to call my own” He whispered pulling the younger boy into a hug.

He longed to call him his own.

He not only wanted him

He needed him.

Patience is a virtue

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

How much more patience could he have?

How much longer could he be away from Niall?