Slipping Away

Chapter 4

April 3rd
3 Days Passed

The late afternoon sun glowed through the windows, leaving warm sunny patches on the floor here and there. The air, crisp and warm, allowed me to let the kids go play in the sand whilst I did my own thing pertaining to Luke. The time I had spent thinking about Luke these last few days amounted to minutes upon minutes, maybe even hours. Yes, my heart ached, pain from being away. Yes, my mind whirled around a million miles a second trying to figure out what direction to turn next. No, I hadn't come up with any solutions to this whole big, foolish mess.

The propaganda, in this case, made me feel sick to my stomach. Why didn't Luke want to sort things out instead of letting them snowball? Why did he turn and grab the alcohol instead of asking me for comfort? Had he cheated on me or lost a close friend? Did he cause a scandal I haven't caught the wind of yet? Or maybe did he simply just get tired of me in general? What was going on?

My mind flashed to a bump in our relationship's road where I had a hard time opening up to Luke like he was with me now. But I hadn't cheated, I hadn't done anything wrong. I wasn't even going through tough times. It was just simply because I was scared of what Luke would think...

Luke sighed, "If you don't want to talk, you don't have to. Whenever you're ready, I'm here for you, Caroline."

Luke placed a hand on my calf since I had my legs up on the swing and off to the side. He squeezed it gently. I was still looking in the opposite direction. I could sense he was about to leave me be so I squeezed his hand back.

"I really want to explain it to you, I really do, believe me that much." I admitted.

"Then share it with me. I'm willing to listen" He offered.

"It's hard," I started before lowering my voice down to a horse mumble to where he could briefly make out my words. "I'm nervous about what you might say or think. I'm terrified that you'll agree with my fears."

He set his coffee cup on the ground beside him and opened his arms invitingly.

"Come here," Luke soothed.

I set my cup down also and slowly scootched over to him. Luke kicked his legs out straight but opened them a little so I could squeeze my body in between them. My back was facing Luke and he took all of my hair and used his hands to comb it off to the side. He rested his head on my shoulder and held me close.

"I would never, ever judge you or get mad at you for your feelings," Luke assured me soothingly once again.

I eased at his words and took a shaky breath.

"Where do we stand?" I blurted.

"Huh?" He asked.

"I know it's been just a week we've been together, but where do we stand as a couple. Where do we stand as one?"

"I love you, you know this," Luke mentioned.

I shook my head. "I know you love me and I love you dearly too, but do we have a future together?" I resounded my earlier statement a bit more clearly. "Now, now, I'm not asking for a proposal, especially after one week. I just want to know where we stand as a whole." I quickly added.

"Baby, what has gotten into you? Of course, I want a future with you."

"That's it," I restated, "you want a future with me."