Beneath Your Beautiful // Michael Clifford

08

Ali

"I got a situation." I state as Emily enters my room.

"Okay, enlighten me on your situation." She tells me as I pat a spot on my bed for her to sit on.

She sits down and I stare at her for a few seconds. "It's Michael."

"Oh! Do you like him? Of course you do! Oh my gosh, finally!" She freaks out Emily was so excited.

"I don't know, that's my situation. I might like him but I'm trying to shut him out because I don't want a boyfriend or have feelings for someone. Plus, Ashton would kill me if I did."

"Okay, first off, don't shut out people. Michael is clearly a good guy, keep him in your life. Second, Ashton can reprimand who you date or who you are friends with." Emily was getting raged.

"But I'm also scared." I say and Emily instantly knew why.

"Alex is in your damn past. So get over him. He may have done things that aren't acceptable and he should be in a cell. But that shouldn't hold you back from someone else." Emily tries to motivate me.

"It's really not that easy. I try okay, I just come back to that. I j-" I broke out into sobs. "Damnit, why the hell did he do this to me."

Emily instantly pulls me into her arms, comforting me. She knew it was a touchy subject so she was understanding. "It's alright, babe. Everything will be alright."

"He made me scared of so much. I'm scared to trust and to love. He made me scared of life. Fucking hell, he ruined me." I grip the blanket on my bed as I sob. "I don't want to be scared I just can't stop."

"Just pretend Alex never happen, put him out of your mind forever. It may not be easy but slowly it'll work. And everything will be okay." She rubs my back.

"Dude, he abused me, he raped me. I can't just put that out of my mind. It's something that I can't forget because it scared me." I say lowering my voice a little bit.

"Alina?" The door was open and Michael was knocking on the door.

"Fucking hell, Clifford. Of course you just heard that." I hug my pillow and burry my face in it as I sob.

"Hey, sorry, I just was gonna find out if you were working tonight." Michael sits down next to me.

"That is like my biggest fucking secret and now you fucking know." I mumble into my pillow.

"Well he's in jail now isn't he?"

"No. Because other than you, Violet, Lauren and Emily know." I tell him.

"Oh." Is all Michael says.

"Why the hell does this happen to me? Why can't I not be scared of everything in life?" I choke out.

Michael brings me into his arms. "I don't know what will happen, but I know everything will be alright."

"You don't know that."

"You are right, I don't. But we can make it alright."

"I agree with that. But everything behind you and live your life like you always do." Emily places a hand on my shoulder.

My head was on Michael's chest, so I look up at him. "I guess I could try. But I don't know any other way to describe it than it's not that easy."

"At least you are going to try. That's all that matters." He smiles, hugging me a little tighter.

For some reason at that moment I felt something I haven't felt in ages. And here I am wanting to kiss Michael Clifford, but kept myself from doing so. Once again I was trying to keep guys out of my life.