I Can't

Too soon

Carrying a tray up the stairs and into the bedroom for Sara, Todd felt like something was off. The call he received from her the night before was so rushed, as she said how she's fine and she's ready to come home, but it didn't seem like it to him. If anything she was still so distant and that spark in her eyes hadn't yet returned. 

Todd set the food aside first, sitting down on the edge of the bed, next to Sara, who was mindlessly flipping through channels on the TV. He took the remote, catching her attention, although, more like receiving a glare.

"Just how much longer are you going to be this way?"

"What way?"

"This! I don't even know how to describe you right now." Todd showed at her with his hand, getting slightly frustrated. "I don't know what made you call me yesterday, but it certainly wasn't the fact that you're okay, like you told me. You're not. So, start talking."

"Todd, just-"

"No, Sara. Enough. It's been long enough, you've shut us all away for too long. You have to open up about what happened. Besides, don't you think it hurt me too? You weren't the only one excited and making plans..."

"Why can't you just accept it that I don't want to talk about it. And I am fine, I simply didn't want to stay at my parent's any longer."

"And why is that?" Lowering his voice again, he took her hand in his, hoping that somehow it would encourage her to speak up.

Sighing, Sara looked away, hesitating. If not the man she was going to marry, who else was she going to admit this to? "I was getting there, you know... I really was. Being locked away from everyone, sorting my feelings and thoughts through on my own, but then... yesterday, I was coming down to the kitchen and apparently my parents were having a heart to heart and... and then I found out my mother is pregnant. It was too soon..." She teared up, covering her face with both hands.

"Oh, honey... I'm so sorry." That didn't make much sense, but Todd was at a loss of what to say.

"There's nothing to be sorry about. If anything, this is a blessing and I'm happy for them, but to me..."

"I understand, sweetheart, I do."

"And I hate I basically stormed out, leaving Mom in tears. She probably feels so guilty right now."

"You know what you have to do, babe. Pick that phone up and call her. Or better yet, eat some of what I brought you and then we'll drive over there."

"I doubt she will want to see me..."

"Sara, what are you talking about. The bond that you have with your mother, nobody else in the whole entire world does. She loves you and you love her too. One can only dream about having a fantastic mother like yours, baby. I don't doubt for a second that she's not holding whatever you said yesterday against you."

Staying silent for a moment, Sara then nodded. "Okay, we'll go see them."

In no more than an hour, Todd stopped the car in front of the Buckingham mansion, reassuring Sara once again that it will be alright. They walked up to the front door hand in hand, Sara using her key to enter. It was quiet inside, as they looked around, eventually being greeted by Lindsey. She almost literally jumped into her father's arms, as he held her close, feeling relief wash over him. 

"I'm so sorry about the way I acted yesterday. I didn't mean any of it."

"I know, Sara. I know." Lindsey gave her a smile, cradling her face in his hands, before pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I'm just glad you're here now."

"How's... how's Mom?"

"She's still asleep. She, um... she practically cried herself to sleep last night, well, around 4 am. She's still resting." Seeing his daughter's eyes brim with tears, he shook his head, pulling her into another hug. "Don't cry, there's no need to cry."

"I was just so shocked... I didn't expect it."

"Well, that makes at least three of us." That got a small laugh out of Sara, making both Lindsey and Todd smile. "Do you guys, want something? Have you eaten already?"

"Yeah, we did just before coming here, thanks." 

"Can I at least make you some tea?"

"Sure." They all went to the kitchen, as Sara and Todd sat down at the table, while Lindsey put the kettle on and took out the mugs from the cabinet. 

The water hadn't boiled yet, when Stevie joined them, wearing a robe over her nightgown, somewhat shyly entering the kitchen, walking to stand by Lindsey's side. He wrapped his arm around her back, kissing her temple, while her eyes were fixed on her daughter. 

"You must hate me." Sara said quietly.

"What makes you think I would ever hate you? Sara, you're my firstborn, you're my flesh and blood, you mean the world to me. I don't know, I don't understand who was the person that looked like you yesterday, but I know it wasn't you talking."

"No, it wasn't! Like I told Daddy, it was the last thing I expected and if I had found out two, three months later, it would have been a different story. It was too soon for me to... I'm faced with the fact yet again."

"If you only had told me that..."

"I'm sorry." She shrugged sadly, then got up from the chair, when Stevie opened her arms and Sara walked right into them. Backing off a little, she looked lower, then back into her mother's eyes. "Can I...?"

"Of course." 

Placing her hands on the growing belly, Sara smiled, allowing a few tears to escape. "You're the most amazing mother. This little one is so lucky."

"Come here." Hugging Sara again, Stevie couldn't control her emotions either, yet mostly feeling relieved as well. It seemed like things were getting better again. "You know, if you want to, I'm having an ultrasound later."

"Are you saying, I can go with you?"

"If only you want that."

"I do, I think I really do." 

Several hours later, leaving their men at home, Stevie and Sara where on the way to the appointment, to check whether things were still going as smoothly as they were the last time Stevie went for a check up. They didn't have to wait very long to be called in, everyone around them probably thinking it was Sara who was expecting...

"Right, let's see." The doctor smiled, taking the transducer in her hand, pressing it to Stevie's belly. She moved the object around a bit, before the room was filled with the sound of a strong heartbeat.

"That's amazing." Sara said, concentrated on the monitor. 

After informing that things were indeed just as they should be, the doctor gave Stevie paper tissues to wipe herself of the jelly, adding that they would see each other in another two weeks. 

Leaving the clinic, going towards the car in the parking lot, Sara said. "I'm not going to give up. Someday, I want to hear my own baby's heartbeat."

"And you shouldn't give up. If I had, we wouldn't be talking right now. Sooner or later, that day will come for you too, honey." Stopping, once they approached the car, Stevie took Sara's hands in hers, looking her daughter in the eyes. "Just please... please be honest with me, always. I hate when there's tension between us, I hate when we argue."

"I promise. I was... I guess, I still am very young and no matter how mature I think I am, I'm really not."

"You are, sweetheart." Smiling a little. "You're more mature than any other nineteen year old I know, that's for sure. It's not about that. You think I always wanted to tell my Mom everything? Of course not, but then you realize, someday you won't have that chance anymore, so you shouldn't shut your parents, your family out. Family is the most important thing."

"You're right. You're always right." Sara added, laughing, as they shared a hug. "I love you."

"And I love you."

Getting into the car, Stevie was already thinking, what was the next thing coming...