I Can't

Something is not right

"Where's your sister?" Stevie asked, seeing as Daryl was coming down to the kitchen alone, after she called them both for lunch. 

"I was coming here and Anna went for the door. She said she's going out with some friends and that you know."

Frowning, Stevie placed a plate in front of her son, going to pick another one for Lindsey. "Well, I can't recall her mentioning anything to me. Who did she leave with?"

"I'm not sure, probably Tara among them." Daryl shrugged, picking up a fork.

Lindsey joined them, taking a seat at the end of the table, noting the strange look on his wife's face. "What's up? Where's Anna?"

"Daryl said that she just left with friends and that I know."

"Well, do you?"

"Of course not! Does it look like I do?"

Instead of a comeback to that, Lindsey said. "What's the harm with her meeting up with friends?"

"She never leaves the house without telling either one of us exactly of where she's going, Lindsey. I'm telling you, something is not right with Anna."

"She's been kind of weird lately, yeah." Daryl agreed.

"You think so too?" Stevie served Lindsey with a full plate too, then took a seat. 

"Yes. We usually talk a lot and like... she's always got her homework down and lets me copy it and now it's been the other way around for like two or three weeks. She's also mostly locked up in her room, listening to music or reading some book. She doesn't want to engage in anything anymore."

"Have you maybe noticed something at school? Maybe like Anna hanging out with a wrong crowd?"

"Nope." Daryl shook his head. "She's always by herself, which is weird too."

"She's a teenage girl." Lindsey thought out loud. "Maybe it's just her growing up."

"No. I don't think it is. I just... I have a feeling." Stevie sighed, leaning back, as she folded her arms. "We need to sit down with her."

"She's pretty close with Sara." Daryl suggested. 

"I think it would be the best to go straight to Anna and somehow encourage her to speak."

Meanwhile...

After paying for a cab ride, Anna got out of the car and keeping her head down, entered an apartment building, climbing up the stairs to the second floor. Taking a deep breath, she touched her knuckles to the door, before she knocked a couple of times and waited. 

The door was opened by not exactly drunk, yet not completely sober Mike. He was surely surprised to see her at his doorstep, as he stood in only his jeans, wearing no shirt. 

"Well, come on in." He stepped aside, gesturing with his hand. "And to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Just be glad I'm here." Anna said, entering the apartment, being met with two other men, she had never seen before. Gulping, she turned around to face Mike. "I was kind of hoping we could have some alone time..."

Raising an eyebrow, Mike looked past her and at his two friends, who were currently checking her out. "My dear friends, it seems like it's time for you to go." He put his arm around Anna, who flinched, yet tried for it not to seem obvious. 

"Are you seriously ditching us for a girl?" One of the two asked. 

"Not just any girl." Mike replied with a wink at Anna, his hand sliding lower down her back. 

In a matter of minutes, they were left alone. 

"What made you change your mind?" 

"Like you said, I stopped pretending I didn't like you, that I didn't like that night I spent here." She lied, allowing him to lead her over to the couch.

"I knew it. I'm not that easily fooled, baby." He smirked, slumping down, taking her with him. He reached for a half smoked joint in the ashtray on the table, picking it up, as he lit it up again. He took a puff and passed the blunt to her. "Come on." Still slightly hesitating, she took it from him and put it to her lips, inhaling. "Aw, you've never tried weed before." Mike took the joint back. "Quite a few first times we get to experience together. I like it." He grinned, sitting back once he finished smoking. "How about you make yourself comfortable in my lap?"

"What else did I come here for?" She asked rhetorically, standing up, as she then straddled his middle...

~

Knocking on Daryl's door, Stevie pushed it open. "Did Anna mention when she's coming back?"

"No, Mom. She just left."

"I know, I know... But she's been gone for a couple of hours now."

"Well, if she's with Tara, then you know how they get once they're at the mall."

"Right, you're right. Ugh... I should stop creating all these different scenarios in my head." Stevie said, seeing as Daryl gave her half a smile, which reminded her so much of Lindsey's. 

"Exactly. Instead, you should go lie down." 

"I think I'll do that." She nodded and closed the door from the other side, heading to her and Lindsey's bedroom, hoping to take a nap, while Lindsey was having some time on his own in the studio.

But he wasn't playing or creating anything.

The very same morning, there was a letter addressed to him in the mail, which he hadn't opened yet. Now he thought he should get to it.

August 30, 1977

It's getting harder and harder... I'm beginning to wonder if I made the right decision. On one hand, I'm telling myself that yes, absolutely!, but on the other... and to think I'm only three months pregnant. We have about ten dates in the United Stated, before we get a month off and then head to New Zealand. I think we still have about twenty to thirty shows left and by the time this tour is finished, I'll be at six and a half months. It's a challenge. Of course I want my baby, but when there's so much bad around; drugs and alcohol, it's extremely hard not to give in, when everything is being thrown at you. Besides all that, Lindsey keeps showing off his girlfriend. Right, girlfriend. People say we look a lot alike, so my guess is that that's the only reason he's with her. I know, well everyone knows, that our break up has been really tough on him. Not that it's been easy for me... We could have stayed together if he wasn't being so possessive of me, that's all. We could have had our family. The baby I'm carrying could have been his... The sad thing is, I believe that if I didn't jump into a relationship with Don right after breaking up with Lindsey, despite those drunken lapses between us, maybe we would have found our way back to each other. But now, when the baby I'm expecting is Don's... I don't think it's possible. God, I need him though... I need Lindsey. Especially now that Don simply told me to terminate the pregnancy! I even went to a clinic, I had an appointment, but I couldn't do it... He hasn't yet, but I'm almost sure Don will leave me, he doesn't want to hear a word about our baby. It's either him or the life growing inside me. Well... I'll raise this child on my own. I'll raise her. I feel it's a girl and if it is, I'm naming her Sara.

Lindsey closed his eyes, exhaling deeply.  He folded the piece of paper again, which was clearly a torn out entry from Stevie's journal. He didn't know what to think. He checked the envelope, seeing nothing in there, no clue of who the sender was. With the letter in hand, Lindsey left the studio and went to Stevie, finding her sleeping in their bedroom. 

He hated waking her up, but he had to, saying her name. She stirred after a moment, slowly opening her eyes. "Linds?"

He then handed her the piece of paper.