Addiction // S.W (Complete)

Chapter Four

A/N: ok this chapter contains like detailed drug use and ik I warned about it last chapter but just in case xx

I slept better than I had in a long time that night, a completely dreamless sleep but I awoke to the sun shining through curtains and Sam's arm around my waist - perfect. I knew Sam hadn't fallen asleep when I did yesterday because I slept early and he appeared wide awake so the fact that he chose to cuddle up to me when he eventually did sleep warmed my heart a little. I shuffled over, being careful not to wake him as I gently slipped out of his arms, shivering at the sudden lack of heat that was radiating off of Sam. I wasted no time in throwing on the closest item of clothing to me, Sam's hoodie and my underwear before making my way into the bathroom to freshen up. I allowed myself one glance at Sam before I closed the door, he looked so peaceful in his sleep and I smiled to myself as I shut the door behind me.

I must've only been in their for no more than five minutes before I come back out; I only brushed my teeth and washed my face but by the time I got back out, Sam was sat up in bed. His hair was messy and dishevelled and he was rubbing his eyes as he yawned lightly, honestly it was quite adorable. Once he heard me enter his head snapped up to look at me and I smiled sweetly at him, expecting him to return it but to my surprise he didn't.

"What were you doing in there?" He asked abruptly, no 'good morning' or 'did you sleep well?' , his eyes immediately narrowed in suspicious and I wondered what the hell had gotten into him.
"I-I, uh, I had to wash my face and things. Sorry, I should've, um, asked or something." Sam didn't respond, he just stared at me a few seconds longer as though he was trying to judge whether I knew something - I had no idea what he was hiding and I didn't know him anywhere near enough to question him about his life so I don't know where he had the impression that I felt comfortable enough to go through his things.

"Whatever." He grumbled as he stood up out of bed and I tried to ignore how fucking gorgeous he looked in just his underwear as he walked towards me. "Just don't go through my shit, okay? That's not cool." I nodded my head, my eyes trailing over him silently and I looked at his own eyes that were completely avoiding mine. No more words were said as he pushed past me to get into the bathroom himself and I silently made the decision to get out of there before he came back out - I didn't really like this side of Sam.

Sam's POV

I probably should have felt bad about the way I spoke to Harper just a few seconds ago; a part of me did but then the other stronger part of me couldn't focus on anything other than that one thing I need to make me feel normal. I know I acted like a dick but that wasn't me, I'm not a bad person because I panicked that's all it was. I woke up, needing my fix like normal and Harper had been in here - she could've found it and then I'd have had nothing, I wouldn't have been able to get to it and that made me feel sick to my stomach. I'm not addicted though, I swear I could go the rest of my life without even the scent of that sweet white powder again but I don't want that and maybe once I tried to stop but the lack of sleep and the sweating and the nausea and everything else got to me but I can stop, I can stop anytime I want except from that one time.

That's what I have to keep telling myself, day in and day out, that I can stop this habit because no one knows that I even do this shit and being addicted to something means you're weak and I'm sure as hell not fucking weak. I continued to tell myself this over and over as I reached into the cupboard under the sink and pulled out the small tin I keep everything in; an old rolled up dollar bill, a loyalty card from some store that closed down a fee months back and of course, a small bag of cocaine. It's crazy that even looking at it can give me some form of comfort when I feel so down like I do when I'm not on it - in fact, to elaborate on that, it's crazy that I feel so fucking miserable when I'm sober and most of the time I'm glad I can afford to stay in a good mood.

I eagerly poured  some of the contents of the bag onto the counter beside the sink and using the card I made it into three straight lines. Then I picked up the dollar bill and waste no time in using it to inhale the lines, cringing slighting at the way the powder feels in my nose but oh god it's so worth it. I moaned at the feeling of my high hitting me almost instantly, I didn't think I'd ever get used to how good it felt to finally get up again after being on such a low. Once the initial feeling of ecstasy had worn off, I used my finger to gather any excess powder off of the counter before rubbing it on my gums and after briefly rubbing my nose to get rid of the still-lingering uncomfortable feeling, I left the bathroom. Now I was in this good mindset I had to apologise to Harper for being such a dick earlier, I just wished I could explain that I can't help how my mood is at those times.

"Yo baby, I'm sorry about-" I started but my room was empty, my jumper that she was wearing on the bed and her clothes gone. "Great. Good fucking job, Sammy." I murmured to myself. Except maybe this was a good thing that I'd practically scared her away; I mean, if her dad were to find out what was going on between us he'd surely have me fired; maybe this was to be on the safe side. But if that was true I had no idea why I was grabbing my phone off my bedside table and finding her contact name; never had I been more thankful that I asked her for her number at lunch yesterday.

To harper 😘:
hey babygirl, im sorry about before i didn't mean to be an ass i just got such a bad nights sleep and ik i shouldn't take it out on you, im sorry! yesterday was fun though, i don't wanna ruin it x

From harper 😘:
thats ok I guess, just don't do it again yeah? I enjoyed yesterday too, we should do it again sometime x

I felt my heart lift at her response and I wasn't sure my mood could get any better than it already was but it did; apparently good text messages are just as much of a mood-lifter as hard drugs; who'd have thought?

To harper 😘:
sounds good, maybe tomorrow? one of my boys is having a party and you should come. I'll pick you up after my meeting if you want x

From harper 😘:
I'll see you tomorrow sammy x