Addiction // S.W (Complete)

Chapter Thirteen

*ring... ring... ring...*

The ringing had been going on continuously before it managed to force me out of my slumber, it was my damn phone and I groaned quietly. I looked around at my surroundings, the room was pitch black but I could make out that I was in the Jacks' lounge which caused the reality of yesterday's events to come crashing down. I sat upright, reaching for my phone off of the coffee table just as it stopped calling, the screen read 4:01 and Missed Call: Sammy 🐸 (9). What the fuck was he doing calling me at this time of night? I definitely wasn't going to call him back because I wasn't ready to speak to him yet, especially not when I'm this tired. But then it started ringing again and his contact photo was flashing on my screen, it's one of him laughing and he looks so happy and my heart melted at the sight and before I knew it I was sliding the button to answer it. I regret it straight away, holding the phone up to my ear with a shaky hand and listening carefully to his breathing on the other side of the line; each breath was heavy and fast and I chewed my lips as I awaited him to speak because I really didn't want to say the first word. It felt like hours of just sitting there in silence while in reality it was probably a minute before Sam cleared his throat and started to speak.

"Come home, please." His voice cracked as he spoke and I swear I could feel my heart shatter at the pain in his voice but I couldn't just give in that easily, not after what happened. "Harper please, I can't sleep without you here. I can't think straight and I need you to come home." Tears began to form in my eyes as I hear Sam sniff through the phone and I knew he was crying. It was killing me that I was the reason behind that but I had to keep reminding myself that he was the one in the wrong here. "No." Was all I said in response, keeping my voice firm as a way to hide just how much it was tearing me apart to say that one word. "W-what?" I sighed at his response, he sounded so confused and it angered me slightly - how could he be so fucking clueless? He hadn't even said an apology yet.

"Sam, it's four in the morning. You can't just call up and expect me to come running straight back to you because you're lonely. It doesn't work like that; you fucked up and you need to make it right." He was properly sobbing now and I was trying to figure out what to say that would make my words seem less harsh because I didn't want to hurt him, that wasn't my intention but he needed to see that his mistakes don't just disappear like that, no matter how much he wished they could. "Stop crying, you're making this harder." My words came out soft and I heard him hesitate a little, trying to be more quiet but I could still tell that he was crying.

"How can I make it better? I'll do anything, I just need you to come back. I'm sorry, so fucking sorry. I love you so much and I hate myself for what happened earlier." My mind was practically battling with itself; do I forgive him because I so badly want to do that and make him okay again or do I stand my ground? "I'll get better I promise, I'll stop everything but I can't do it alone. I can't do it without you baby."

"I told Johnson." The guilt had been eating me up ever since I said it but hearing him tell me that he needed my help just pushed me over the edge. He had to know. "Okay." I frowned at his one-word answer, and his tone of voice was somewhat more even and collected than it was before. I expected him to at least tell me how hurt he was that I betrayed or something. "Okay? Is that it?"

"It's not like you can untell him is it? It's done. All I wanna know is why?" My heart lifted at the fact he wasn't mad at me. Or at least the fact that I had a chance to stop him getting mad at me by saying the right thing. "Because I'm scared, Sammy. I'm so scared for you and I can't help you on my own, I thought I could and I know I promised you but yesterday made me realise that it's too big of a problem for just the two of us. I mean, you almost hit me, Sam; I know it wasn't you, I know you wouldn't do that if it wasn't for that shit but that's why I need help."

"I get that, honestly baby I understand that's it's a lot of pressure to put on you but what is Johnson going to do? Getting one more person caught up in this isn't going to solve anything." I sighed at his words, he was right; there's nothing anyone can possibly do to help Sam other than make sure Sam keeps helping himself. We couldn't even dispose of all his supplies because like I'd already found out, he had ways of getting more and I didn't doubt that if the need got too strong again then he'd do the same.

"I think I'm gonna go back to sleep." I finally stated after a few moments of silence and I could hear as Sam's breath sped up again, as though he thought he'd still lost me but he never really lost me. "Johnson and I are coming over tomorrow, we'll talk about this properly okay?" Sam simply hummed in agreement but I could tell he was scared that I'd end the call on a bad note - there was no way in hell I'd do that to him. "See you tomorrow, love you."

"Love you too baby."