How To Be Happy

Meet My Mum

Every night when my mum thought I was asleep she would cry her heart out. She thought I didn’t hear them but I did. It hurt me, I didn’t know why she was upset. And I didn’t understand why dad didn’t come home anymore.

Days came and went. Mum would no longer wake up early to make breakfast for me. I started having cereal and when the milk ran out I had toast. When the bread ran out I learned to go buy groceries myself with the money I was saving up for a doll I wanted.

During those days mum would spend all day in her bedroom, only coming out once every day to get water and have minimal food.

Her once very beautiful eyes drained of all colour and brightness.

She barely acknowledged me and when she did she would hug me tight and keep muttering “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry baby girl”

Things were like that for about six months before it started to get better. Mum started getting the groceries again, she started living again. She went out, had coffee with her friends. I was happy, thinking things were going to be ok again.

But then she started drinking. Things got bad again.

She would come back early in the morning usually around 1 or 2 am. The worst day was when she came back when I was about to go to school.

She was drunk off her ass and she brought a guy with her. Things got a little out of hand as the guy seen me he looked like he wanted to leave but mum wasn’t having any of that. She grabbed onto his arm, not letting him leave. In short, I got angry that she brought another guy home and she hit me across the face with the glass bottle she was holding.

I didn’t go to school and the guy fled. I still have the scar today, when anyone asks I say I was clumsy and somehow managed to knock over the fishbowl and slammed my face in it.

After that mum never came home drunk again and she apologised so many times I swear I didn’t want to hear another ‘sorry’ in my life again. But by that time I was older and I understood why she was drinking so I forgave her.

The coming home drunk phrase only lasted one month and two weeks which I am so grateful for. It had to stop anyway. One or two days after the incident she explained to me how we were running out of money as dad wasn’t supporting us as he said he would and we had to sell the house.

Things were very stressful. There was the normal stress of moving but the packing was the worst part. Every time mum saw something that reminded her of dad she would start crying, this happened for almost every item of hers.

We decided to sell all of the things dad left behind as they were no use to us. Mum threw all the photos of dad out apart from one small family photo of us three. It was one of the typical family photos you would expect, we were all smiling and looked like a perfect family.

The house didn’t take too long to sell as the area we were living in was very convenient with a school across the road and a shopping centre a 20 minute drive away.

I guess you could call it ‘good timing’  as that was the exact time we were moving up from primary to secondary and it only meant it was easier to settle into the new school as everyone was going to be new to the school.

We moved from our nice house to a rundown smelly apartment because we decided between us the money would last longer and we didn’t need a nice place, well mum decided mostly.

Sometime in between she left the booze and started on drugs. She would never let me see her doing it but I knew.

Then there came a time when we had used up all the money from selling the house and selling pretty much all of our valuables.

Mum tried all the jobs she could with the education she had, which was basically none as she didn’t pay much attention in school. And ironically she told me to concentrate on my studies because it’s very important and even if you did marry a rich guy, you’ll never know what might happen. ‘Prime example right here’ I remember thinking.

She started doing simple jobs such as waitressing, working at the till at various supermarkets and at take out places. Each and every time she would get fired for doing something stupid. I don’t know how she got the jobs in the first place I’d imagine it’d be something to do with her looks and an easily persuaded male manager.

Soon after she figured that those jobs weren’t for her and didn’t bother signing up for anymore.  Instead she started bringing guys home, sometimes she would go outside to some other place but mostly she would bring them here and I had to keep clear.

And that was how we lived for a very long time, with her getting paid for sex and me in school. It wasn’t easy but that was life.

~~~~~

Phewwwwww it's hard writing in past tense!

Dedicated to @DimondHeels for being such an amazing supporter and the awesome cover! Thank you so much hun :D

Vote&comment!