Coffee

3

In the morning, I did in fact come back to reality. As I sat at the table eating cereal alone before work, I was painfully aware that Rebecca was not into me. Those hugs were a sign of friendship for her, nothing more. No longer in the mood to eat, I dumped the bowl and got out some dog food and refreshed the water for Darcy. His happiness would become mine.

"You home Park?" I rolled my eyes. If I wasn't home, would he even care?

"Yeah I'm home Dad. I'm in the kitchen."

I turned just in time to see him place his bag on the table, full of clothes from the past few days. He looked good, for being in his forties. Salt and pepper hair was sprouting from his chocolate-toned head and the smile he always gave didn't reach his dark brown eyes. Looking at him now, I saw myself in him more than I did when I was younger or maybe I just saw it now that my mom was gone.

"Hey kiddo, what are you up to?"

"Leaving for work." I walked out of the kitchen and went to change and leave. "Can you walk Darcy after he's done eating? I'll be late if I stay."

"Sure Parker."

I nodded stiffly. I didn't have to leave and I wouldn't be late but it was easier this way, to pretend that nothing was wrong. He had to know how hard it was for me when he wasn't here, and I was home alone. He couldn't be blind to the fact that I wasn't like other teenagers and I didn't always ask him to leave me alone or go away. When he comes back, he just sits around and talks to me like nothing ever happened, like he wasn't gone for the past few days, or even weeks at times. That's what truly bothered me I guess. Not that he was gone, but that he pretended like he never left.

I began to cry on my way to work as I thought more about how I felt. Most times I tried not to think about it because this was often the result. I walked, because Thomas didn't need a ride today. I quickly wiped away tears as I made my way through the suburban neighborhood, no one sparing a first or second glance. I didn't have anyone to talk to, not even Thomas. He was my best friend but he wouldn't understand this, no one would. I did my best to pull myself together before I entered Rizzo's. The only thing that could make this situation worse would be someone asking questions about things that weren't their business. Thomas came in late, but according to Will, Thomas was excused. I heard every tick from the clock as hours passed by. When I couldn't take it anymore, I took my break. It was about an hour before Rebecca would come in to check on Darcy. I dreaded the possibility of having to even talk to my father but when I entered I realized he wasn't even here; he'd left, again. I found a note on the kitchen counter from him which was new.

'I know I just came home and I'm sorry that I have to leave again. Here's a card just in case you'd like to treat yourself to something special. I was thinking we should get another dog. I did take Darcy for a walk as you asked and gave him a bath. I'll see you when I get home. I love you Parker, never forget that. Dad'

I didn't exactly need any more money; I had a job for that. Another dog? He was barely home himself to take care of the first one. I felt the anger welling up inside, again. I couldn't believe he was trying to buy my love. If he'd go that low, I thought he'd at least start trying that a few years ago. I crumpled up the note but kept the card in my wallet. By the time I got back to Rizzo's, I was back to crying. The difference this time was that they were angry tears, and were hot as they fell onto my face. Thomas kept asking what was wrong but luckily the jingle saved me from having to explain. I stopped crying long enough to make Rebecca's coffee and take it to her.

"Thanks Parker." I nodded and turned to walk away. She grabbed onto my arm to keep me from walking away. Despite how I was feeling, the sensation of her touching me sent nerves throughout my body. "Hey wait, are you crying? What happened?"