Coffee

16

It'd been a few weeks since I talked to Jordan outside of the shop. She did text me a few times, wanting to talk and I ignored each message I only talked when absolutely necessary in class. I still had feelings for her that wouldn't go away probably until I was no longer talking to her; I had a few months to go. I was still dating Becca, if you could call it that. She wouldn't let me over to her place so we spent most 'dates' at my apartment or at the arcade. The guys there were the only other people allowed to know about us. Becca knew that Thomas and Jordan knew, and that was all she would allow. Although, we both knew there was no one else for me to tell.

I think what I disliked the most about our 'relationship' was that I couldn't shout to the top of my lungs that I was finally dating the girl I'd been waiting for and rub it in their faces. She didn't like to be seen with me in public other than Economics, the arcade I was tired of seeing, and Rizzo's. She no longer acknowledged me in the halls. I questioned every day if it was worth it; if us being together was worth telling Jordan about the kiss and losing someone like her, someone who would want to show me off to the world. I somehow would have to learn to forgive myself and remember that I could break up with her at any time. Then the endless chick flicks and boxes of pizza would disappear.

To Thomas, I was happy. I stopped letting on that I was regretting my decision on a daily basis. It must've been annoying to hear when I was doing that in the beginning; even my brain was tired of hearing it.

For once, I decided to eat in the cafeteria with Thomas. We never did that, and usually left to eat off campus. We sat at the first empty seats we saw and a group of kids sat next to us. I could only hope Jaz wouldn't sit near us and that I didn't take her spot. For some reason, people were territorial over their seats in a cafeteria. I lucked out, because no one approached us as we ate horrible food. I was reminded as to why we always left.

Thomas and I started playing a game which involved us rating people and saying whether or not we'd date them. The scores were generally low and we said no to pretty much everyone. We both noticed Jordan at the same time when she sat at the table next to us. She never even looked my way.

"Hey, I'm gonna leave now, I forgot something in my locker," I said to Thomas before getting out of my seat to leave the cafeteria.

"Okay, I'll catch you after English."

He got up as well but didn't follow me out of the cafeteria. I saw Rebecca at her locker alone when I turned the corner and approached her. There were still a few minutes before the bell rang so I assumed I had that time with her alone. I came up behind her and put my hands over her eyes.

"Guess who?"

"Hmm, I assume from the voice... Parker."

"Very true. Hello m'lady."

"Hi Parker."

She seemed to be in a decent mood so I leant in, allowing myself to show her affection during school hours. She prohibited it, but it meant I could never have any fun with her. Anyone could come around that corner at any time and I guess I liked that thrill. She didn't, and pulled back before our lips touched.

"Parker what do you think you're doing?

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not gay so why would you even think about kissing me?"

"Becca-"

"Get away from me you freak."

I turned around and saw someone standing in the hallway watching us with interest. I didn't want to cause a scene but I also didn't want to hide anymore; I wasn't going to be a secret. I was tired of being a secret.