After Curfew

Chapter 11 - Wide Awake

Chapter 11 - Wide Awake

I looked at my phone for the tenth time in the last two hours. The screen read 4:28 am and I finally made the decision to get out of bed. I'd been lying in bed awake since Slate and I came back in from the balcony at 3 am. I couldn't sleep. My mind was racing with too many thoughts and it felt like a current of electricity was running through my entire body. I climbed out of bed quietly and grabbed a pair of skinny jeans and a cute hoodie before going into the bathroom to change and do my hair and makeup. Once I was done I came out and saw that Slate was still sound asleep in the bed. I pulled open the bedroom door, only pausing when it made a creaking sound. I then grabbed my school bag and my converse deciding that I wasn't going to waste anymore time and I'd put them on in the elevator.

It was still dark outside when I finally climbed into my car. I tried to turn it on but had no luck. After trying another two times I let out a frustrated sigh before jumping out of the dead car and slamming the door shut way louder than I needed to. I pulled my hood over my head as I started walking down the sidewalk with no particular destination in mind.

The city streets were mostly empty, it was too late for people to be coming home from clubs and too early for people to be going to work. I walked for 15 minutes, not noticing what direction I was going until I was standing in front of an all too familiar building.

I looked up at the sign that read "Public Library" and sighed in content as I made my way to the back of the incredibly large building. I pulled the heavy door open and walked in, relieved that the librarian still always left it unlocked.

I could still remember the first time I'd entered through this back door. One night a couple of months ago I was walking home from the club when it started pouring rain. I'd seen the big metal door so I ran to it in hopes that it was unlocked so I could take shelter. Luckily it was, and when I entered I found myself inside the expensive three floor library and immediately fell in love with it. Ever since then I've been coming back whenever I needed to be alone or just escape for a bit. Luckily there are no cameras and the security system has been broken for a long time, so I'd never get caught. I'm fully aware that trespassing like this is illegal but I don't feel guilty because it's harmless, I always come here after opening hours when I know it's empty and I never stole or broke anything; plus I love reading and I had all the books I could ever ask for surrounding me so there was no way I was going to give that up.

I walked to my favourite couch and lied down so that I was staring up at the ceiling. Whenever I came here and I didn't feel like reading I would always stare up at the high ceiling, it's all glass so you get a breathtaking view of the sky and since it was still dark out I was staring up at the stars searching for constellations.

My mind kept wandering to the fight I'd gotten into with my parents and red hot anger filled me as I remembered my mother referring to Jace as a murderer. I took deep breaths trying to calm myself down and thought about happy things like the fact that gummy worms existed, that there was a new episode of Teen Wolf this week, the fact that Jace might get released in a month and the look of concern on Christian and Slate's faces yesterday when they were worried about me. It felt good, too good...

I didn't want to become dependant on anyone or grow too close to either of the boys. It was basic human knowledge that it's almost impossible to rely on people because they always end up letting you down one way or another but that wasn't what was making me feel like I needed to start distancing myself from Slate.

It was that I liked being more or less alone, I liked that no one really knew me all that well and that I could be whoever I wanted to be when I met someone new. I liked that Jace was the only person I had to worry about and I liked that I didn't have many people to disappoint. But more than all that I loved that people saw me as a mystery because I knew that no one would ever be able to solve me... I studied the sky as a wave of calm washed over me and for a split second I noticed it was dark purple not black and I found myself realizing that maybe not everything is as dark as it appears.