I Know | Demi Lovato and Wilmer Valderrama

2

Demi

"I don't want to be married to you!"

As soon as the words left my lips I clapped a hand over my mouth and watched in horror as Wilmer's entire body slumped and he looked at me with such a heartbroken expression I immediately began to shake my head.

"No I didn't mean that Wilmer. I do want to be married to you, I do. I'm so sorry I didn't mean it I don't know where that came from."

He just stared at me, his mouth open a little and his eyes so sad and questioning that I leaned in and cupped his cheeks, kissing him.

"I love you. I do want to be married, I'm sorry."

"Okay." He choked out, "I understand, it just slipped out."

I nodded, "I didn't mean it."

"You didn't mean it." He said slowly. "What about the other stuff? You don't want me to fight for us? Or try and make you happy? You don't want me to make you dinner and kiss you when you come home?"

I took a deep breath, "No... I don't. I don't want any of that."

"Okay." Wilmer said slowly, then moved me off of his lap, "But you want to be married?"

"Of course."

He looked down at his hands, "Demi... How do you expect me to be married to you and not try to make you happy?"

"Just..." I took a deep breath, "Just stop trying. Please. I am happy. I'm happy without you making dinner and kissing me and smiling at me. Just stop trying to make me happy because I already am."

He closed his eyes and swallowed hard, "Okay."

I sighed, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." His words sounded automatic, robotic even, "I think I need to check on dinner... if you still want it."

"I do."

"Okay." He said again, and got up, walking into the kitchen.

He was in there for a long time, banging pots and pans. I just sat there and stared out the window, thinking about what I had just yelled at Wilmer when all he was trying to do is help me. I basically just told him that I want to be married, but without all of the parts that make it marriage. I was deep in my thoughts for a long time, staring at the trees swaying until I heard Wilmer say my name.

"Yeah?"

His eyes were tinged red, "It's ready."

I got up and followed him into the kitchen, my heart both breaking and melting a bit when I saw he had obviously been planning on making tonight special. Candles were grouped together on the counter, unlit. There was a rose on the bar chair, obviously trying to be hidden from me. Wilmer sat down and I did the same, eyeing him closely.

"What were you planning on tonight?"

"Nothing." He sighed, "It doesn't matter."

"I want to know Will."

He took a deep breath and looked up, meeting my eyes with a heartbroken expression, "I was going to ask if you wanted to renew our vows."

My mouth fell open a little, "What?"

"It doesn't matter anyway." He said, picking up his fork, "I'm not allowed to try and make you happy, or kiss you, or love you. So I guess that's off the table since that's what I thought our marriage was; happiness, and love."

I swallowed hard, "I'm so sorry."

He shook his head and stabbed a piece of broccoli, "Don't worry about it."

"I love you."

Wilmer sighed, then let his fork hit the plate with a clatter, "Do you? Because I sure as hell don't know if you do. I mean we talk, but we don't say the words we used to. We look at each other but there's no more romance in those looks. Every time I even go to touch you it's like your mind is somewhere else. I just... I don't know."

I looked down and curled my hands up, "I think I should go."

"Go? Go where?"

"I don't know, Marissa's or something. I think you need some time alone."

He leaned back in his chair, "I think you're right."

I stood up and touched his shoulder, then grabbed my phone, purse and keys and walked out. I got in my car and tapped my fingers on the steering wheel, trying to figure out where to go. In that moment my phone rang.

"Marc, I can't talk right now-"

"Come over." He interrupted, "I've got something for you and wanted to apologize for this morning."

I rubbed my face, "Fine I'll be there in ten."

I drove the familiar route to Marc's house and pulled into the driveway. It took me a few minutes to get out, but finally I walked up to the door and knocked, nervously twisting my fingers.

"Hey beautiful."

I looked up and yelped, Marc was butt naked, "What are you doing?!" I hissed, shoving him inside and shutting the door behind me. "Someone could see you!"

He shrugged, "This was what I have for you!" He said, motioning to his lower half, "Look I'm sorry about this morning. I won't let you sleep over again."

I bit my lip, "Wilmer and I just had this big fight and I came here to see what you wanted and you just want me to have sex with you?"

"I mean, yeah." He shrugged, "Kinda."

Before I could speak, he grabbed my waist and attached his lips to mine, taking away any of the willpower I had left.

~*~

I opened the door to the house quietly, and locked it being me. I put my stuff down and tip-toed up the stairs, praying that Wilmer wasn't awake. I peeked into the bedroom and sighed with relief once I saw him lying down with his eyes closed. I didn't want to see him, not after what I did. After getting ready for bed, I walked over to where Wilmer was laying and got in next to him. He opened his eyes and I froze, forcing a smile.

"Hi."

"Hey..." He said, a sad look on his face, "I called Marissa's to try and talk to you to say I didn't need alone time but you weren't there. Where did you go?"

"No where." I whispered, "Just went for a drive to clear my head."

"Huh." He murmured, and I could see the sleep creeping up again, "Okay."

"Go to sleep, it's late."

"I love you." He said groggily, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me in so he was spooning me.

"I love you too Wilmer... so much."

He kissed my neck, and then went slack, his breathing calming me to a point I hadn't been in months, and for the first time in a long time, I fell asleep the second my head hit the pillow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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-Rachel