A Girl Like Me

16. Guilty Conscience

It didn't feel right.

I shoved Liam away from me as quickly as he had attacked me with his lips. I may have shoved him a little too hard though, because he stumbled backwards on the sand and landed on his butt. His eyes met mine and all I could see was hurt and betrayal.

"You can't just do that," I said with an exasperated sigh. I scanned the beach around me and I was pleased to see that nobody was looking over at us. I would have fainted on the spot if Cole saw us.

Liam stood up and brushed the sand off his clothes. "Do what?" He asked me.

"Just kiss me, with no warning! You can't do that, Liam." I noticed that his hurt expression was replaced with a serious one, like he was hiding how he felt.

Liam turned away from me and began pacing the beach. He'd walk five metres, mumble something to himself, then walk back to me and repeat it over and over again. I was beginning to get dizzy watching him.

"But we used to be dating," he said. As if I didn't know.

"Exactly," I mumbled. "We used to be."

"Yeah, but we only broke up because you moved away. We'd still be together if you lived here." Then he saw the doubt on my face and his eyebrows creased together. "Wouldn't we?"

"I don't know Liam, you can't ask questions like that. I haven't got a clue where we'd be if I hadn't moved, okay?"

Liam stopped walking and turned to face me. "I don't get it," he said in a quiet voice, his murky green eyes flickering as he scanned my face. "What has made you suddenly go off me? You can't say that you didn't feel something when we kissed."

I could feel a deep pounding in my chest, and my palms were beginning to sweat. I rubbed them off my shorts unnoticed. Could I really tell Liam that I was seeing Cole? It would break his heart and possibly our friendship too. It was only the other day when I claimed that I wasn't with Cole, and now he might think I was lying. I took a deep breath and forced myself to look up at Liam. Was it just me of we're his eyes brimming with tears? Oh dear god...

"Um," I said, anxiously searching his face for any signs of anger. But all I got was sadness. "I didn't feel anything when we kissed." I was being honest. "When we were together, it felt right but now it doesn't."

"Why?" He demanded.

"Because..."

He gave me a questioning look. I concentrated on a shell sitting on a patch of golden sand, avoiding his gaze.

"Because I'm seeing someone."

"What?"

"It's Cole," I said. "I'm sorry."

All I saw was a single tear trailing down his cheek and I started walking away. I couldn't handle it. I wanted to escape but I was stopped by Liam as he came rushing after me, grabbing my arm tightly. He twisted me around to face him, not letting go in case I might run away again.

"You lead me on!" He accused me, a sudden glisten of anger in his bright green eyes.

I scowled. "How?"

He didn't answer me. Maybe because he didn't have a reason. "I'm sorry," I said again. "I was going to tell you but then you kissed me."

"Well you could have told me while you were busy blabbing about your Grandpa." A scarlet blush hit his cheeks the second he said it. "I didn't mean..."

"I should go," I said coldly.

"Bianca-"

"No, just forget it."