My Marine Man *Editing Time!*

Chapter 12: The Realizations

*edited*

Chapter 12

Nathan's P.O.V.

Walking into my house after a full day of soccer, I feel the most complete I have in a long time. My friends, Zoe, a gorgeous day, and playing a game I love seemed to be the remedy I needed most. All for chasing the concept of normalcy. This morning is a distant memory. I'm refreshed.
"I'm home!" I call once I get inside.
"In the rec room, Nate!" Mark calls from downstairs.
I shrug off my shoes and head upstairs for a shower. Smell-free, I change into some shorts and a shirt and go downstairs to join my family.
There's a chorus of "Hey, Nate" and a few cautious stares. I guess they didn't forget this morning's event.
"What are we playing?" I ask.
"Apples to Apples, of course," Amy answers. "Here's some cards."
We play for about a half hour, then Mom remembers something.
"Nate, a letter came in the mail for you today. I didn't want to forget to tell you."
Curious, I set down my hand and go on a search for the letter. I find it upstairs on the kitchen table.
The official-looking envelope stares me down. I gulp, knowing immediately what it contains. My next base assignment. With shaky hands, I pull the letter out. I scan the words looking for clues.
"You will report to..."
The line is out of focus. I rub my eyes, trying to get a clearer picture, desperately hoping I'm reading something wrong. They wouldn't give me this assignment twice in a row, would they?
But it's true. Baghdad, Iraq. Four weeks. That's my fate.
I brace myself, waiting for panic to rush through me. It never comes, though.
Later that night, after my family has been informed and my commanding officer contacted and the house is quiet, I remember Zoe. I'm not sure how to tell her, I'm not sure how she'll react. I keep thinking about that, laying in bed, and suddenly, I can't wait.
Less than 5 minutes later, I'm in my truck, cruising down the deserted streets of town. Before long I'm in the parking lot of Zoe's appartment, calling her to see if I can come up.
When she opens the door a few minutes later, she makes a quiet sign. I forgot about her grandparents, they must be asleep. Zoe leads me into her room. Strangely enough, I've never been in it before. It's simple, with cream walls and carpet. One queen size bed fills most of the space, with a small dresser rto one side filled with photographs. I notice that I'm in one of them.
That makes me really happy. I wonder if she has more.
"So, what's going on?" she asks, closing the door.
This simple question brings up a complicated response.
"Well, I got my next base assignment in the mail today," I begin.
Her face is unreadable. She just pulls her sweatshirt closer around her.
I don't know what else to say, so I decide to drop the bomb.
"I'm reporting to Baghdad in four weeks, Zoe."
Tears well up in her eyes.

Zoe's P.O.V.

Me without Nate. Strong, dependable Nate. My lifeline in California. And that's selfishly speaking. What about him? He's going over as a Marine to one of the most dangerous places in the world for his second time. What if he never comes back to me?
I look up at his face. It's white, tense, waiting for my reaction. Tears well up in my eyes, much to my disgrace. I try to fight them, to stay collected for him, but they spill over all the same.
Nate moves towards me and gently whipes the tears away with the pads of his thumbs.
"It'll be fine Zoe, it'll be fine," he whispers over and over to me as he pulls me close.
We stand there for a while, me crying into his chest and him stroking my back, ever loving, ever patient.
My tears finally dry up. I feel so ashamed, so selfish for only thinking of my feelings. I open my mouth to apologize, but he beats me to it.
"It's ok, Zoe, don't feel bad. It's hard on everyone, I know." Then, smiling, he adds, "It's all my fault, because I'm so popular, lots of people will be miserable and miss me."
I let out a shaky laugh.
"Listen," he says, "I don't plan on dying anytime soon. It's only going to be nine months. That's less than a year, Zo, and I'll be right back here. As..."
"Good as new," I finish for him. "Please Nate, don't use that with me. I know it's not true."
He casts his eyes downward.
"Are you scared?" I whisper.
Nathan nods.
"Oh, Nate," I sigh.
My hands wander up to his face and trace his strong cheekbones.
"Zoe?" Nate breaks the quiet.
"Yes, Nate?"
With an unsure voice, he asks, "Will you wait for me to come home?"
Then I kiss Nate. Hard, needy, desperately. He's a little surprised at first, but it doesn't take long for him to respond the same way. When we come up for air, I answer with a slight smile.
"Of course I will."
Later, when we're nestled close to each other in my bed, I watch Nathan drift into sleep. Long brown lashes cover his eyes, and slow, even heartbeats radiate from his chest. A dull ache in my heart is still present, as I suspect it will be until he returns home. Watching him sleep in the moonlight, my mind finally comes to the realization my heart came to weeks ago.
I love Nathan.
And so I say so. Under the cover of night and sleep, I whisper, "I love you, Nathan," before I finally surrender to sleep myself.

Nathan's P.O.V.

"I love you, Nathan," a soft voice whispers, barely audible. I'm not sure if I'm dreaming or if it's real, since I'm about to lapse into a deep sleep.
When I wake up, it's still dark. The neon lights of Zoe's alarm clock read 5:10. Zoe's head still rests in the crook of my shoulder. She's sleeping peacefully. I stroke her soft, silkly hair. It's probably best for me to leave now, so I don't disturb her or her grandparents. Using all my will power, I gently lift her head and lay it on a pillow. I walks towards the door, looking over my shoulder once more to make sure she's comfortable. The soft moonlight is hitting her, and she looks like a goddess. How did I ever get so lucky? How am I ever going to leave her? And how, how am I ever going to explain? I'll be crushed if she can't handle me, the whole me, the broken inside part of me.
That's when I realize: I'm in love.