My Marine Man *Editing Time!*

Chapter 21: The Second-Guesses

Hello my lovelies :) Another chapter, hip hip hooray!

I need to clear something up: the timeline of this story. I'm sorry it's been kinda unclear, and it's been annoying me for a while now. The book starts in June, the beginning of Nathan's four months of leave. The grandparents come in early-mid September, and Nathan departs for Iraq early October. It's a nine month tour (counting October), so he gets home in June, around the same time Emma's baby is due. Zoe graduates in May with her Masters degree. Does this help? I hope so, and thank you for bearing with me! :)

Please COMMENT AND VOTE, dah-lings!





Chapter 21


My head is swimming with possibilities as I walk down the hall to Brian's office. What do I tell him? What would Nate want me to do? John? Marcie? Amma and Pa? Chris? Most importantly, what do I want to do?
"Come in!" a voice yells from behind the door when I knock.
"Hey Brian."
"Oh good, you did get my call last night," he says in a frustrated tone. "Are you going to relieve me of my misery and just take the job?"
I gulp, there's suddenly not enough air. "Well, um, how long do I have to make the decision?"
"Oh Zoe," he says regretfully, "You've had almost two years. I need to fill the position. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is."
"Well then, I think I'm going to have to..." I squeeze my eyes shut, wondering what I'm going to say. "...Turn down the job offer. I'm moving back to the east coast."
"Oh, Zoe, we're going to miss you around here."
The tears start. "I'm going to miss you guys too, Brian."
"How long will you need the part time for?"
"Until June, at least."
"Ok, just remember to give me a two week notice. Are you positive you don't want this job?"
A deep breath. "Yes, I am, Brian. Thank you though, for waiting on me this long."
"You're welcome, Zoe. You've truely got a bright future in engineering ahead of you."
And with that, I head to the work room. The guys are quiet, for once. Shifting uneasily in the silent room, I say in my brightest voice possible,
"Well, let's get moving. We don't have all eternity for this project."

****************

"So, what's your plan now?" Chris asks, with his head under the sink. It's been leaking, and he's determined to fix it.
"I don't have one! I mean, I guess I'm moving back to Maryland now, but I don't have a job, or apartment, or anything!" I reply, on the verge of crying yet again.
"Then why did you turn down the job?"
"Because he needed an answer, and...oh I don't know! I'm so confused right now."
"Everything's happening at once."
"Yeah, it kinda is. I'm overwhelmed."
"I wish I could help, but this is the kind of thing you can't really help that much with."
"I know. I wish you could too."
"So what happens with Nathan then?"
"Nothing. I leave and try to move on. He broke up with me, Chris. I'm not going to sit around waiting for him."
"Ok. Gosh, I wish I knew this guy before, well, this mess happened. You know, if you ever do get back together with him, I'm gonna hold a permanent grudge for all the misery he put you through."
"Well, don't you worry your pretty little head about that, because it's not going to happen."
"What ever you say, little sister," he answers, voice still muffled under the sink.
"How's it going down there?" I respond, trying to change the subject.
"Fine, I guess. I'm not a plumber, and we all know I didn't pay attention to Pa when he tried to teach us a thing or two about plumbing."
"I paid attention."
"I rest my case, Miss Goody-Two-Shoes."


Nathan's P.O.V.

The clanging of pots and pans from the emptying dining hall are loud enough to make my head hurt. It does hurt, but it's my fault. It's from my own decisions. I head back to my tent, the day is done here on base. There's still fighting going on somewhere, I'm sure, but for now, my part is finished.
I climb in between the regulation sleeping bag folds on my bunk, and pull out my phone. Automatically, my fingers wander over to the photos, and mechanically choose the ones of Zoe.
"Dude, who is that chick?" my bunk mate wanders over, peeking over my shoulder.
"Zoe," I respond, well aware of the pain cause by another guy looking at my girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend, that is.
"She is hoooottttt! That pouty little mouth of hers, mmmm."
"Dude, she's my girlfriend, lay off," I respond. My bunkmate is oblivious.
"Ouch, sorry buddy."
"It's ok," I say, shaking my head tiredly. I continue to scroll and stop and stare at every picture of her, while Tyler, my bunkmate, loudly hums "Call Me Maybe" while getting ready for bed.
"Ty, just stop!" I erupt, and immediately feel guilty.
"Sorry dude, I didn't mean to rumple your feathers."
I sigh. A picture of Zoe and me comes up. She's sitting on a swing of our playset at home, and I'm pushing her. She's laughing, and so am I. She's leaning back, looking up at me, and our eyes are locked. A sharp pain shoots through me, reminding me of my decision. My hand hovers over "delete", but I just can't do it. This is all that's been getting me through these past seven months.
I stare up at the bunk above me, wondering how I'll be able to get to sleep tonight. I talked with my parents this morning, and they were not happy to say the least. Who can blame them? We all love Zoe. I lay there for what feels like hours, just thinking about her, thinking about home.
I see the end of the tour, it's so close I can almost taste it. But all it takes is two seconds to change everything. And there are lots of two-seconds left. Home. Another surreal experience waiting me when I arrive. Will she be waiting for me when I come home? Of course not, idiot. You broke her heart. Will she talk to me again? Is there hope for that? Could we be friends? I wouldn't be able to manage if she was out of my life completely. Why didn't you think of that before you broke up with her, dummy?
The conflicting voices argue in my head all night. I won't be able to rest if I don't do something, quick. I pull out my laptop at four o'nine in the morning, after not sleeping a wink. I start an email to the person haunting my head all night.
"Dear Zoe," I start, but immediately erase it. I try others, but they don't work. I finally settle on, "Zoe."
"Zoe," it reads, "I can't tell you how sorry I am for my actions. These past two nights have been unbelieveably haunting, just thinking of you and your smile. While I regret what I did, I still feel I had good intentions with a bad follow through. Iraq is a harrowing experience. Things are dangerous over here, and I will be the first to admit that I'm scared. Really, truely scared Zoe. And I won't let you waste your time on a man that may never come back. That's my reasoning, but in the afterthought, those aren't good enough reasons. Zoe, please, please forgive me. I made a horrible mistake, and I want the words back that I said that night. I love you, and I always will. Nathan."
I can't bring myself to send it. Maybe it's my pride, maybe it's my fear of her reaction. But whatever the reason is, it won't be delievered to her.

**Two days later**

Zoe's P.O.V.

"Hello?"
"Hey Zoe," Marcie's familiar voice says. "We talked to Nathan last night."
"Oh, that's nice."
"C'mon now Zoe. He's sick over what he did. He's just nervous that he's...that he's not going to make it. And that he's wasting your time."
I sigh. What do I say to my former boyfriend's mother? As if she can read my mind,
"Zoe, please forget he's my son for a minute. Tell me what you're thinking, friend to friend."
"Marcie, truthfully I'm thinking that I knew very well the possible consequences of having a boyfriend who's a Marine. In Iraq. I know he might not come back, and I know he might not come back the same. As for wasting my time, he's my boyfriend for pete's sake, I don't mind wasting my damn time on him! That's what I'm thinking, Marcie."
"I understand Zoe. I can only imagine what it feels like. But will you talk to him? He wants to. Nate seriously regrets this move."
"I don't know Marcie. I don't know."
"Well, think about it. Maybe email him. Just please think about it!"
"I can do that. Thank you."
"You're welcome Zoe. We miss you around here."
"Yeah, well..."
"Bye, Zoe. Remember to think it over."
And with that, the line becomes dead.

I just wanna give a shoutout to @justwriteandlove , she just posted an ah-mazing poem based on "My Marine Man". You should go and read it! It's called "Glorifying Sun" in her book of poems called "Between the Lines <3". I am so grateful, Aysha! You are truely ah-mazing. (I cried when I read it). 

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, if you didn't read what I wrote at the beginning of it PLEASE DO!! But wait, why would you read the author's note at the end but not at the beginning? Silly me. Anywho, I love you all! I need someone to dedicate this chapter to, too! :) 

Thanks to ItsDedication_201 for following me! Love ya, my dah-ling! :)

And I posted te Prologue and Chapter One of my new story, "The Way He Planned It", I would be so grateful if you went over and checked it out! Thanks bunches :)

Please COMMENT and VOTE! <3