Hearts and Heels

22 // in which jen wins at life (for now)

When Joshua promised me that he's going to teach me how to cook, I didn't expect that moment to come two days later.

He's laying out all the ingredients and necessary items for me on the counter for making cheesy chicken enchiladas, which I'm not sure whether it's the right choice for a beginner like me to start with. He chose this, because, coincidentally, it's one of our favorites. He says it's easy, but come on, this is Joshua we're talking about.

He should be on Master Chef.

"You're not even listening, are you?"

"I'm listening."

He gives me a look, raising his eyebrows, and tilting his head to the side. "Then what did I just say?"

"That . . ." I trail off, completely clueless. I try to rewind, but I come up with nothing. "Okay, you got me. I don't wanna learn anymore."

He straightens his back, and staring at me lazily. "Then how are you going to cook for yourself when I'm gone?"

"Don't go then," I blurt out, shrugging. Even after I realize what I'd just said, I don't regret it. I remain composed, unfaltering. He looks taken aback, an unable to speak for a second. I hold his gaze, hoping he'd get how sincere I am about this just by looking at me in the eye.

He shakes his head. "You don't know what you're saying."

"Yes, I do."

"I can't live with you forever."

"Yes, you can."

"With you and your husband?"

A smile creeps across my lips. "I thought we were engaged."

He exhales, running his fingers through his hair. "Our 'engagement' isn't going to last forever. We won't."

"But you haven't even found anyone yet," I whine, sinking in my seat. "Tell me, when was the last time you had feelings for someone?"

He purses his lips, debating whether he should tell the truth or not. Then, he hesitates."I may or may not—"

"Oh my gosh," I interject dramatically, my jaw hanging. "I can't believe you didn't tell me about this!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I miss the part where we suddenly became best friends?" He rolls his eyes, and I glower at him. "Besides, I don't like anyone."

Interested and curious, I push myself forward, closer to the counter. "But you just said—"

"You didn't let me finish my sentence. Now can you please start on your cooking?"

"No."

"First, you have wash your hands. Always make sure that they're clean."

"You're unbelievable."

"Second of all—"

"Ugh."

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I think I finally did it.

Keyword: think.

I followed Joshua's instructions thoroughly, and it honestly feels good to cook successfully without him having to peek over my shoulder every single minute. It did nothing but cause more pressure, and maybe even mistakes. He was being very critical of how I should do this, or where I should put that, and many more.

Okay, maybe I didn't follow his instructions thoroughly. When he had to go for a toilet break, I decided to continue on my own, hoping it'd go smoothly. I really want to impress him, and make him proud. But now, I'm not so sure whether my plan's going to work.